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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries?

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Introduction
We have a
lot
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 of countries in the world. Each of them has especially
culture
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, foods, custom, history, art, technology. By travelling to a
country
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, we learn a
lot
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 of information about it.
This
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 information might help us to change our lives.
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion, we must
first
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travel
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 inside. I have some reason for it.
Firstly
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, travelling inside, improve the tourism industry.
Secondly
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, it's an opportunity to creating new jobs .
Finally
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, we understand past and current
culture
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 in every
place
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.
For example
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, in ,Iran we have a
lot
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 of language
such
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 as Turkey, Lori, Gilaki.
People
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 who live in Gilan, spoken Gilaki. They have an interesting
culture
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, in ,additional they have a
lot
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 of heroin history. Improve tourism industry cause
people
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 in other
country
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 know better about our
country
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. And
also
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 we can keep safe our monuments. For ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example we must protect someplace
place
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 like Takhte Jamshid.
Body paragraph 2
When we
travel
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 to another
country
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Remove the redundancy
apply
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country
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, we can see how much different it is between our
country
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 and them. ,
Also
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 we can introduce our
country
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 to them. Travelling to each
place
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 teach us the
people
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 how to think, how lives, and
also
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 how movement in their
country
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 acts.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I prefer
first
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travel
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 inside my
country
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 and know everything about my
country
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 and
also
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 see
people
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 in another
country
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Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
country
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,
talked
Change the form of the verb
talking
show examples
 to them, see their current lives and use their experience in my life.
Moreover
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, temp them to
travel
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 to my
country
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 and enjoy from my
culture
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 and
people
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 and every beautiful
place
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 we have

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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