Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The pros and cons of multidisciplinary learning
students
have led to a debate. Some sides agree that mastering various
subjects
will provide a wider career path in the future,
while
some groups suggest that studying irrelevant
subjects
will only waste
students
' hours.
Therefore
,
this
essay will
further
analyze the justifications of both views before concluding. On the one hand, in terms of competition, it is understandable that candidates with better knowledge and insight appeal to the recruiters. With the experiences of learning different
subjects
, multidisciplinary learning
students
are more attractive to the company.
For example
, in the United States, some companies have stated that they will choose employees who are eager to learn something new, even if it is unrelated to their previous degrees.
Hence
, many
students
sacrifice their time in order to attend other courses.
On the other hand
, many
students
insist on
this
movement.
Besides
cutting their moment, some resist that they have a hard stage surviving with their current major so it is impossible for them to add other courses. Please take a look at what is currently happening in South Korea; the
students
' suicidal rates are increasing because they are forced to learn
subjects
they do not really like. For these reasons,
this
condition seems like an unethical situation. In conclusion, a multidisciplinary learning system is considered a good innovation for
students
.
However
, some
students
can not handle
this
system, which affects their depression rate. It is the student's responsibility to decide what they want to study. As an adult, we should support whatever they choose and ensure their health and happiness are the priority.
Submitted by farrandyerza on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction is a good starting point, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main points. A concise, direct thesis helps to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical flow of ideas. Use transition words and phrases effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs, creating a seamless argument throughout.
task achievement
While you have provided examples, they could be more developed. Specific examples are crucial as they demonstrate the applicability of your points. Be sure to explain how the examples support your arguments in more detail.
task achievement
For Task Achievement, answer all parts of the prompt fully. Discuss both views thoroughly and provide a clear, consistent opinion. Your current conclusion could be perceived as somewhat vague and unable to take a strong, defined stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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