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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earning between the rich and the poor. To what extent do you agree?

#people #society #difference
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According to some,
income
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 plays a vital role in the happiness of any
society
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, and
hence
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 reducing the gap between the earnings among the rich and the poor members of
society
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 is key. In my opinion, I don't agree with
this
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 statement as I don't consider that
income
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 is the sole factor in the happiness of societies.
To begin
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 with, one must look at the factors which produce happy societies and these include
income
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, security, health, education, and many more. If one factor
such
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 as
income
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 is unified among all the members of the
society
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then
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this
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 might have a negative impact on the other factors.
For example
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, China was a communist country where the wages were almost the same! Yet, the effect on health and security was detrimental. Another point to consider is motivation. Once the members of
society
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 know that their limit of
income
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 is capped and that there is no possible potential for extra earning
then
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 they will be demotivated.
For instance
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, a scientist will not be motivated to do research if he feels that he will not be rewarded and that his
income
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 will remain similar to the porter of the university. In conclusion, happy societies are not impossible to reach,
however
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, the right mix of factors needs to be taken into consideration by their governments.
Income
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, health, security and education all play major roles in the happiness of any
society
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 and we cannot prefer one factor at the expense of others even if
this
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 might not produce the
society
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 everyone is seeking.
Submitted by george.petro on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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