All education and healthcare should be funded by government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Healthcare and education
services
are both essential
part
Change to a plural noun
parts

The singular countable noun part follows the quantifier both, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

show examples
of humans life.It is sometimes argued that
governments
should provide these
services
for everyone without paying fees.While I accept that poorer members really need
this
type of free
services
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter however. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
it does not mean that everybody can utilize them. On the one hand, I agree that every country should provide good healthcare as well as education
services
for their citizens.Without adequate healthcare people of all ages can become sick and
also
, if doctors have not enough knowledge they will have difficulty treating patients.
As a result
, the number of patients will increase in the world.
Thus
,
governments
should at least provide these amenities to necessitous citizens as soon as possible.In fact, if poorer inhabitants may get ill,they cannot afford
Fix the infinitive
to take

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
take
Change the form of the verb
taking

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb take. Consider changing it.

show examples
care of themselves due to
another problems
Replace the adjective
another problem
other problems

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun problems. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

show examples
they have
such
as supporting their families and the number of taxes.
On the other hand
, we may all wish for those vital facilities to be provided free of charge,
however
Add a comma
,however

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase however. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
some people do not understand that
governments
spend
this
income to build hospitals,schools as well as produce adequate medical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
and medicine for us.
Additionally
,these
services
and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
take a great deal of money
therefore
,
governments
need to obtain it from somewhere.Even though, countries allow these
services
free for people, in
this
case
Add the comma(s)
,case

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter in this case. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
they will increase
amount
Add an article
the amount

The noun phrase amount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of taxes.Owing to the fact that every activities and
services
Change to a singular noun
service

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun services. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

show examples
based on each other and maintain
countrie's
Correct your spelling
countries
country's

The word countrie's is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

discipline. In conclusion,it seems clear that poorer members of our society need
this
type of aid their life,while others should adapt to pay fees for
services
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
because these incomes spend our benefits.
Submitted by sarvarovich98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Need a higher score on IELTS Writing?
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.