In many countries, young people move to cities leaving their homes in rural areas for work or study. What do you think are the reasons for it? Do you think advantages for moving to cities outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #people #move #cities #homes #areas #work #study

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Migration to developed

cities

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in order to find work or continue education is one common approach which has become common among

youngsters

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in the countryside.

This

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would occur

due to

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job

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opportunities or advanced universities and a plethora of

facilities

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which can be found in

cities

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Although

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it could be argued that

this

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movement may have some drawbacks, I firmly believe that beneficial

points

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would overshadow negative

points

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. Appealing to make progress is in the majority of

youngsters

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' nature. they are highly ambitious and want to develop in their career constantly. Whether in

job

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issues or education, urban

areas

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appear to provide the best situation as there are many factories or several universities or colleges.

For example

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, dwellers in rural

areas

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have to do dead-end jobs like farming and there is not any well-known university.

Moreover

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, Most occupations in

cities

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could guarantee satisfactory salaries and remunerations or there is a chance to meet knowledgeable professors at famous universities. Apart from that, undoubtedly, the

facilities

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cities

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are far more than in villages.

For example

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, medical care services in

cities

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are better than in rural

areas

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Also

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, shopping centres, recreational amenities or even important offices can be found in urban

areas

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, not rural ones. It is argued that the migration of young

people

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cities

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may have negative

points

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. I admit that villages become isolated when

youngsters

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migrate to

cities

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This

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may cause reducing workers and

as a result

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, some activities like farming, may doomed to fail.

Furthermore

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, when young

people

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come to

cities

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, their parents remain alone and

this

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, not only causes a sense of loneliness but

also

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reduces the accessibility to the parents , especially in emergency situations

such

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as illness.

However

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, I think immigrating to

cities

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has more positive

points

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. Young

people

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would be able to build an excellent life for themselves and there is an opportunity to meet efficient

people

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that can change

youngsters

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' lives dramatically.

For example

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, meeting a powerful entrepreneur or even a knowledgeable professor at a university.

Furthermore

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, young

people

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can experience an easier life compared to their parents as they would benefit from equipment and

facilities

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like developed public transportation or online shopping.

Moreover

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, I would claim that

youngsters

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cities

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may be happier than ones in rural

areas

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since many city residents have a sufficient amount of money to spend and they do not seem to be concerned about vital issues

such

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as medical care. All being said, young dwellers tend to migrate to

cities

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to fulfil their

job

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or education in order to different

job

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positions with good welfare and benefit from

facilities

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in urban

areas

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Although

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it would be argued that

this

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is a negative approach, I wholeheartedly believe that the positive

points

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may outweigh the negative ones.

Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on Wed Aug 28 2024

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task achievement

Ensure you avoid minor grammatical errors and typos, for example, 'this would occur due to more job opportunities or advanced universities and a plethora of facilities which can be found in cities' could be slightly refined for clarity.

coherence cohesion

Introduce linking words more frequently to ensure a smoother transition between ideas. For example, 'Therefore,' 'Consequently,' 'Moreover,' and 'As a result' can help enhance clarity and flow.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing reasons why young people move to cities and evaluating the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is well-organized. The introduction clearly states the topic, and the body paragraphs neatly cover relevant points with supporting examples. The conclusion summarizes the essay effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

460 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment opportunities
career growth
educational facilities
universities
technical colleges
specialized institutions
infrastructure
amenities
healthcare facilities
public transportation systems
cultural activities
recreational activities
cost of living
traffic congestion
pollution
fast-paced lifestyle
career advancement
government policies
mitigate downsides

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In many countries, young people move to cities leaving their homes in rural areas for work or study. What do you think are the reasons for it? Do you think advantages for moving to cities outweigh disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Health expert believe that walking is good exercise for health.howerver people are walking less nowadays.why is this happening and what are the solutions?

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Wild animals have no use in the 21 century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with question