IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

#people #humans #animals
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It is argued that
animals
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 are used by humans beings for their own advantages while others reject that and believe that they should not be treated in
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a
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bad manner. In my view,
animals
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 are
also
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a
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beautiful creature of God. People should respect their emotions and must not be used for their own sake.
To begin
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 with,
animals
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 are
the
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apply
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part of the life cycle they
also
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 have emotions and feelings which should not be abused. A number of
animals
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 are used for research purposes. These
animals
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 are treated with strong chemicals and have gone through pain as the scientists are trying to discover a more effective treatment for the patients who are suffering from harmful diseases
such
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 as cancer, covid-19. They use various
animals
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 like rabbits, rats and monkey as they have similar respiration as human beings.
Furthermore
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, there are a number of bloody sports like cockfighting, dogfighting which are organized every year for enjoyment, while fighting they harm each other so badly that they died on spot.
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, the government should keep an eye on the organization that organized
such
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 kind of events and should be punished with a heavy fine or imprisonment.
On the other hand
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, in the past cows and buffaloes are used in farming for irrigation which is really useful for the farmers to get the proper yield and can earn profits.
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, there was a mutual benefit as for the farmer they are the only source of farming and they take care of their
animals
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. Even nowadays a number of people use
animals
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 for agricultural purposes as they are lack other infrastructure , to get dairy products. So they spend an enormous amount to keep them fit and healthy.
In
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I
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 recapitulate, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to the conclusion that the human can use
animals
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 in a proper manner and should not be abused when they are at the
last
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 stage of their life.
Submitted by daisysharma0087 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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