IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram outlines the process of
electricity
Use synonyms
 production in
a hydroelectric plants
Correct the article-noun agreement
hydroelectric plants
a hydroelectric plant
show examples
. overall, the process which includes 6 different stages during two shifts (day and night), begins with storing rivers'
water
Use synonyms
 behind a dam and ends in sending
electricity
Use synonyms
 to a national grid. It would suffice to take a quick glance at the process to realize that
initially
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 of
river
Add an article
the river
a river
show examples
 is collected into a
reservoir
Use synonyms
, namely "high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
" and
then
Linking Words
 in the day shift
this
Linking Words
 reserved
water
Use synonyms
 flows
downward
Replace the word
down
show examples
 a
power
Use synonyms
 station which is located in a lower level through some pipes which their valves are opened during the day.
Then
Linking Words
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, in the
power
Use synonyms
 station, the extreme stream of
water
Use synonyms
 hits a turbine which is connected to a generator. As a consequence of
this
Linking Words
 the turbine starts to spin very fast and the produced
power
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
, can
converted
Change the verb form
be converted
show examples
 into the
Use synonyms
electricity
Replace the word
electric
show examples
 current through the generator. After that, the generated
electricity
Use synonyms
 through the
power
Use synonyms
 lines is sent to the national grid. The used
water
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, is stored in another
reservoir
Use synonyms
, namely
"low-level
Correct article usage
a "low-level
show examples
reservoir
Use synonyms
" for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future demands.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in the night shift, the general pattern seems to be vice versa. The
water
Use synonyms
 of
low-level
Add an article
the low-level
show examples
reservoir
Use synonyms
 is pumped by the reversible turbines upward the high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 which now is closed at night.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 of rivers and
this
Linking Words
 return
water
Use synonyms
 are reserved in the high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 for use in the
next
Linking Words
 cycle
Submitted by maleki.ali94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: