The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #people #priority #countries #world #adults #society

People

argue that countries must prioritize the education of the youth,

while

others opine

to have

Verb problem

that

show examples

societies shift their focus on educating unlearned adults. I agree with the view of adult schooling and,

this

essay will explain why we should fund

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

. Adult illiteracy affects various parts of life.

Firstly

, older

people

who cannot read and write are more susceptible to

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

destitutely.

That is

people

living in poverty are either unemployed or work in low-skilled jobs.

As a result

of,

inability

Correct article usage

the inability

show examples

to offer proper schooling for children.

Also

, to support finances, they resort to theft and other crimes.

Secondly

, parents discussing stumbling blocks

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

students in their studies. Primary and secondary school children need to grasp several concepts,

seek

Correct word choice

and seek

show examples

the parent's help in reviewing lessons.

For example

, the child understands the syllabus taught much better with the help of their parent's way of teaching and so,

perform

Correct subject-verb agreement

performs

show examples

well in studies. It becomes a disappointment for unlearned parents and ultimately sends their

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

to tutorial centres.

Lastly

, non-literate

people

suffer from serious health issues. These individuals tend to have more workplace accidents, prolonged recovery

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

and more

frequently

Change the word

frequent

show examples

misuse

medication

Change preposition

of medication

show examples

Due to

the fact they have trouble reading and understanding, they show ignorance towards healthcare

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

show examples

relevant

Correct word choice

and relevant

show examples

information like warnings, dosage,

contraindications

Correct word choice

and contraindications

show examples

Therefore

, we must take urgent measures and invest funds to educate these adults. They can find respectable and safe jobs for themselves. In conclusion, education and learning

Verb problem

apply

show examples

have no age limit, and

consequently

, I reiterate that adult education is immensely vital in today's society as it

also

boosts the country's

overall

literacy rate.

Submitted by dipshikhaa.r on Fri May 21 2021

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion that more explicitly address the task question.

task response

Focus on directly addressing the task question throughout the essay, with a balanced consideration of both viewpoints.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

literacy
illiteracy
funding
resources
early education
educational foundation
economic benefits
societal impact
eradicating illiteracy
moral and ethical responsibility
intersectionality
case studies
allocation of resources
long-term benefits
contribution
unemployment
poverty
social issues

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The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

The natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problem does it cause? How can we solve these problems?