The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

People
argue that countries must prioritize the education of the youth,
while
others opine
to have
Verb problem
that
show examples
societies shift their focus on educating unlearned adults. I agree with the view of adult schooling and,
this
essay will explain why we should fund
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. Adult illiteracy affects various parts of life.
Firstly
, older
people
who cannot read and write are more susceptible to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
destitutely.
That is
,
people
living in poverty are either unemployed or work in low-skilled jobs.
As a result
of,
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
show examples
to offer proper schooling for children.
Also
, to support finances, they resort to theft and other crimes.
Secondly
, parents discussing stumbling blocks
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
students in their studies. Primary and secondary school children need to grasp several concepts,
seek
Correct word choice
and seek
show examples
the parent's help in reviewing lessons.
For example
, the child understands the syllabus taught much better with the help of their parent's way of teaching and so,
perform
Correct subject-verb agreement
performs
show examples
well in studies. It becomes a disappointment for unlearned parents and ultimately sends their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
to tutorial centres.
Lastly
, non-literate
people
suffer from serious health issues. These individuals tend to have more workplace accidents, prolonged recovery
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
and more
frequently
Change the word
frequent
show examples
misuse
medication
Change preposition
of medication
show examples
.
Due to
the fact they have trouble reading and understanding, they show ignorance towards healthcare
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
,
relevant
Correct word choice
and relevant
show examples
information like warnings, dosage,
contraindications
Correct word choice
and contraindications
show examples
.
Therefore
, we must take urgent measures and invest funds to educate these adults. They can find respectable and safe jobs for themselves. In conclusion, education and learning
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have no age limit, and
consequently
, I reiterate that adult education is immensely vital in today's society as it
also
boosts the country's
overall
literacy rate.
Submitted by dipshikhaa.r on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion that more explicitly address the task question.
task response
Focus on directly addressing the task question throughout the essay, with a balanced consideration of both viewpoints.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy
  • illiteracy
  • funding
  • resources
  • early education
  • educational foundation
  • economic benefits
  • societal impact
  • eradicating illiteracy
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • intersectionality
  • case studies
  • allocation of resources
  • long-term benefits
  • contribution
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • social issues
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