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Writing Samples /
Band 4

some people think students should learn more practical courses like computer but others think they should learn more about theoretical courses like geography and mathematics discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #courses #computer #geography #mathematics
Education plays an essential role in
students
 life. all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
believes
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that empirical
knowledge
 is paramount
such
 as computer
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
, somethings conceptual
courses
 are best for betterment. the arguments have a split
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 and respective justification. prior to maintenance both the respective are discussed in the following paragraph. Discussing the former viewpoint, the foremost argument the supporters put forth is that pragmatic tracks are pretty much popular in
this
 contemporary era. To be more precise, in the developed scenario empirical
knowledge
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more eminent, owing to which
students
 are more fascinated towards it. Sense technology e are upgrading generations by generations, pupils taking more interest in
such
 subject
such
 as computer course.
However
, youngsters are dynamic by nature,
utilise
Correct word choice
and utilise
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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precious time to enhance skills, despite thinking about the problem, children should focus on solutions by studying and performing practical skills.
For instance
, a survey was done by a group of
students
 of PhD in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harvard
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 that in the modern era 75% of pupils are interested in empirical
courses
.
Hence
 ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has been making stringent protocols so that teenagers can take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
.
On the contrary
, the proponents of the letter view
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
advocates
Correct subject-verb agreement
advocate
show examples
 the reverse. The prime argument they put on the surface is that
abstracts
Change the noun form
abstract
show examples
courses
 are much
excellent
Correct quantifier usage
more excellent
show examples
 for youth as better education. It is seconded by
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
such
 as history , geography, mathematics and so
one
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more crucial, Not only
students
Add a missing verb
do students
show examples
 make their future better but
also
 maintain their present after the examination of conceptual crucial. sense history
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 the youth
both
Change preposition
with both
show examples
 positive and negative impacts of
knowledge
, teenagers able to find out
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 solutions.
Moreover
, your story motivates the youngsters in many ways, going to which we create or update the older
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
 into
new
Correct pronoun usage
new ones
show examples
. To cite an example,
headline
Correct article usage
a headline
show examples
 was printed on the newspaper of times of India that 80% of
students
 depend on theoretical
courses
.
Such
 as
dehlon
Correct your spelling
Athlon
 only for the marks bases and achieve
desire
Wrong verb form
desired
show examples
 goals.
Hence
, theoretical
courses
 are
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 good for enhancement. To recapitulate, I would state that I strongly support the former view
Change preposition
of then
show examples
then later
Correct your spelling
the latter
show examples
.
While
 practical
knowledge
 is essential, empirical skills are too important.
However
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 coronavirus holiday
is provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 all the basic needs to the civilians.
Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on

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coherence and cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically and clearly.
task achievement
You need to address the prompt more comprehensively and provide relevant examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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