IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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There
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a dramatic increase in private transportation around the globe over the
last
Linking Words
 few years. Increased wages, economic prosperity and depletion in vehicle prices made it easy for
people
Use synonyms
 to have their own personal
car
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.
However
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,
this
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 has led to various detrimental issues including congestion, pollution and safety. For those reasons, I believe that limiting the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 in bigger
cities
Use synonyms
 could mitigate those problems. Completely banning
cars
Use synonyms
 in big
cities
Use synonyms
 is not a plausible solution as it is unrealistic,
however
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, restricting the
number
Use synonyms
 of
such
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 private
cars
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 would be an effective solution indeed. Nowadays, traffic
contributed
Wrong verb form
contributes
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 a lot to widespread pollution.
Car
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 smoke, traffic jams and loud horns of vehicles are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 reasons that significantly affect the environment and
people
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 in many ways.
People
Use synonyms
 are more vulnerable to various diseases and many have serious health issues
due to
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 pollution. In order to tackle these issues,
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
 on private
car
Use synonyms
 ownership should be imposed. Not allowing
people
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 to drive their
cars
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 in big
cities
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 is not possible
while
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 it is much reasonable to restrict the
number
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 of
cars
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 a family can own, the
number
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 of minimum
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 each
car
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while
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 driving would be the two pragmatic solutions.
Additionally
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, in order to combat traffic congestion, new road infrastructure has been introduced by various nations that include deforestation to acquire more space to build new roads, modern bridges and pedestrian pathways. Those development works could destroy the natural habitat of various species
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 could lead towards the extinction of
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from
Change preposition
apply
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various countries.
Nevertheless
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, prudent decisions should be taken to enhance the
number
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 of roads without doing any harm to the natural environment.
On the other hand
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, personal vehicles are more convenient and safer than other means of transportation.
This
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 is not surprising that
people
Use synonyms
 often feel more comfortable and relaxed
while
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 driving their
cars
Use synonyms
. Completely banning the use of private
cars
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 would deprive
people
Use synonyms
 to travel freely and
according to
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 their own
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
.
To sum up
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, controlling and restricting vehicles in large
cities
Use synonyms
 would definitely play a pivotal role in improving
people
Use synonyms
’s health and would
also
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 help in controlling factors that are the cause of the deteriorating situation of the environment. But banning private
cars
Use synonyms
 completely in big
cities
Use synonyms
 is not a pragmatic solution in my opinion.

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coherence cohesion
Well-developed essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples and arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of limiting cars in big cities. It provides a balanced view and presents clear reasons to support the opinion.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion structure.
coherence cohesion
Well-supported main points with relevant examples.
task achievement
Balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of limiting cars in big cities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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