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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research,business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world
Information
 could be shared with the
world
 to make them known and transparent. Some
also
 prefer to share important
information
 freely. I believe in both sides. In the technology
world
, for keeping the purpose clear, they share the
information
 with the
world
,
therefore
 they can be mentally prepared about it what will they use in future. For ,example tech giant Google announces their product in the Google I/O every year where they generify about their goods to let the user knows what are they going to be used and seen. It has so many positive impacts in my opinion
such
 as
,
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 the company clear their position about their product transparency.
Second
 of all,
this
 has been known for most of the persons who will use
of
Change preposition
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it, so there has no hidden secret. In general, I would like to share as much as possible to define myself clearly and they have the rights to know about it.
On the other hand
, some important things should be shared freely. Suppose, common
people
Add the comma(s)
,people
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 don't know what's happening in the Galaxy or outside of the
world
. How actually Milkyway,
galaxy
Add an article
the galaxy
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 is working. For getting
information
 about those there are some organization like NASA, SpaceX, etc. They are pulling the
information
 by their research and letting know the peoples. Every day we see on the news that NASA has to
gotten
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
 something valuable from the moon. They are not only getting it
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
 they are
also
 spreading the
information
 with us, so that, we can
also
 be concerned about it and can estimate about the future universe. if they didn't telecast or broadcast that important news we would never know about the moon, galaxy, and so on. They are freely spreading the
information
 for humankind. In my opinion, Both views are important to make it clearer and transparent. ,
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
show examples
 in some cases, we will be unknown. So, it's very important to spread the
information
 freely as well as should be spread important
information
 more freely. At
last
, Spreading the
information
 is kind of letting us know
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things about the
world
. We can learn from and understand from the
information
 that has been shared to increase our curiosity.
Submitted by brownnovemberrain on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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