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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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Fast
Add a hyphen
Fast-food
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food
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 chains are the most convenient store to order
food
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. In other countries, it is noted to have a higher percentage of
people
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 who suffered from
illnesses
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 because of
this
Linking Words
. I certainly agree that government officials should put a higher
tax
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 restaurants.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, fast
food
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 stores are everywhere.
Although
Linking Words
 it is known that processed foods are unhealthy, majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 still order
dish
Add an article
a dish
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 from them.
For instance
Linking Words
, aside from being fastly prepared, it can be ordered at the
convenient
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convenience
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 of your home.
This
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 is one of the
reason
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reasons
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 why there is an increasing number of
people
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 who have
health
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 problems and mostly morbid obesity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the processed foods have
an unhealthy ingredients
Correct the article-noun agreement
unhealthy ingredients
an unhealthy ingredient
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Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to
preserved
Change the form of the verb
preserve
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 for a long period. When it cooked and started to ingest by
people
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, all the preserved ingredients
is
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are
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 stacked in the body which cause obesity and other
illnesses
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, due to
health
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 reason, the government should impose a higher
tax
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 on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
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. For that, it may lessen the
health
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 problems of the countries.
For example
Linking Words
, if
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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tax
Use synonyms
, more
people
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 will prefer to cook
food
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 at home rather than buying at
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 restaurants. Like in gulf countries, their government put high taxes
for
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 restaurants alone to decrease the obese population in their country.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
illnesses
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 will
be eliminate
Change the verb form
be eliminated
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 by eating healthy and
home cooked
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home-cooked
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food
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, eating too much process
food
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 can bring
health
Use synonyms
 issues to one's body due to preserved ingredients added. And I certainly agree that local officials should impose higher
tax
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to prevent
illnesses
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the community.
Submitted by Nadz_nadz on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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