IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government should make laws about people’s nutrition and food choice. Other argue that is their choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is a heated debate argument that some
people
Use synonyms
 think the
government
Use synonyms
 should introduce laws for the nutrition and
food
Use synonyms
 choice of
people
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 think everybody has the right to choose
food
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 of their own choices. I agree with the former view and
this
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 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views in forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 are really fond of eating
food
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. They like to eat different cuisines. Citizens have their own life to decide what to eat. Authorities cannot impose their diet chart on the folks. When
a
Correct article usage
apply
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sick
people
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 eat their favourite
food
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 they feel relaxed and happy.
For instance
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, In a survey, It was found that
people
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 who eat
the
Remove the article
apply
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their favourite
food
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 are healthier and happy.
Moreover
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, some personal have
allergy
Add an article
an allergy
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 to some particular
food
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. So they cannot eat
such
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 kind of
food
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. The
government
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 does not know the need for
people
Use synonyms
's choice of
food
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.
On the other hand
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, others support the argument that
government
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 should decide the
food
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 with nutrients. Most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
people
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 are suffering from heart disease, diabetes, cholesterol, obesity and so on. When the
government
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 will decide
food
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 for their citizens
then
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people
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 will less suffer from diseases.
However
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, it has drawbacks too. Many
people
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 who cannot eat some particular
food
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 due to allergies will suffer. If they will not eat they will suffer from hunger. To conclude, In my opinion, eating
food
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 is a hobby. Everybody
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has the freedom to eat.
People
Use synonyms
 live once so they should eat what they like without bureaucracy intervention.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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