IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

4) Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
Children always have unoccupied
time
 in their timetable, Many people believe that
this
time
 should be used for a well-organized group activity, while other opine that teenager should manage
this
time
 by themselves. Both beliefs have their own pros and cons and one should choose according to his own circumstances. On the one side, many people hold the opinion that the free slot during the day should be used in group tasks. There are many types of group activity that the children can perform.
Firstly
, they can play basketball, football, cricket, kabaddi or badminton, they can choose the sport according to the instrument and environment availability, along with their rate of
interest
 in a particular sport.
Secondly
, Indoor
games
also
 hold good
interest
 amongst teenagers, they can play
games
 like carrom, chess, monopoly, business and many more. Outdoor
games
 increase physical fitness while indoor
games
 increase mental fitness. At ,
last
 they always have a chance to go out and join any of the community nearby, as per the
interest
 of an individual.
For example
, they can join a community like a pathshala, which is working to educate 6 to 12-year-old children who do not have enough resources
to begin
 studies. On the other side, many people feel that, activities choose by individuals rate of
interest
 are highly appreciated rather than following the instruction given by parents on "what to do? and "what to not?". If a student has the liberty to choose his favourite task, he will perform that work at his level best and always work hard to achieve excellence in the same.
For example
, Mahendra Singh Dhoni has the liberty to choose his free slot activity, he played cricket during that
time
 and become captain of team India at a very young age. In conclusion, my opinion is, parents should work as a guide here, who is sitting
next
 to his child and give instruction only rather than driving. From
this
, he becomes the decision-maker and selects the best for himself.
Submitted by Dhrumil Vaghela on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
What to do next:
Look at other essays: