IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government in many countries have recently introduce special taxes on food and beverages which is highly of sugar . some think that this taxes are good idea , but other are disagree on this view .

#government #countries #taxes #food #beverages #sugar #think #idea
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Sugar is essential parts of our daily routine
diet
Use synonyms
 while
,
Remove the comma
apply
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it should be consumed in nominal amount because of detrimental effects on
health
Use synonyms
. In some
Nation
Add a comma
,Nation
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 extra charges are imposed on highly contain glucose product
such
Linking Words
 as beverage and chocolates to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption, which is not agreed
by
Change preposition
upon by
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 one part of the society.
However
Linking Words
,
regulatory
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the regulatory
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 authority should keep all the factors related to public
health
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 in his mind, and organize awareness program of
healthy
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a healthy
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diet
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 and high tariff consequences on civilization.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 awareness camp, youngsters are easily distracting towards energy drinks, which are result
into
Change preposition
in
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 obesity and hypertension.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they regularly consuming
such
Linking Words
 nutrition due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of knowledge. Owing to
this
Linking Words
, local authority organizes knowledge expending program in school and
Correct your spelling
college
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collage
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college
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 to change
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the mind
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mind set
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mindset
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.
Furthermore
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, study subjects of vigorous
diet
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 should be part of primary and high education syllabus to enlarge proficiency.
In addition
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, with the development of society not only fitness level will improve but
also
Linking Words
 nation economy will strong.
On the other hand
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, including toll on regular food items would have
negative
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a negative
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 impact on
community
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the community
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. Hike on price would
serious
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seriously
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 impact for among and individual.
For example
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, in
India
Add a comma
,India
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 most of the family have
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
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 source of income, who is fulfilling
everyone is
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everyone's
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requirement
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a requirement
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. He will not able to do
fulfill
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fulfil
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daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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 bread requirement of his family.
In addition
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,
manufacturing
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the manufacturing
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 company will
also
Linking Words
 lose their business due to lack of consumption, and people will
also
Linking Words
loss
Replace the word
lose
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 their job in
private
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a private
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 company. It has
also
Linking Words
detrimental
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a detrimental
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 impact on
country
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the country
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 economy. In conclusion, council power has responsibilities to take the
health
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 of peoples by taking several
step
Change to a plural noun
steps
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 like skill enhancement programs and by education system improvement.
However
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,
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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also
Linking Words
 the equal responsibilities
of
Change preposition
for
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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health
Use synonyms
 by proper food routine chart follow-up. charging extra toll is not
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right solution in order to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 society.
Submitted by naresh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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