IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#believe #cities #towns #spaces
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Investing in constructing communal activity areas in urban space is useful, according to proponents.
Although
Linking Words
 it seems to be highly significant, there are other essential services are need to be funded;
therefore
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with funding to build entertainment facilities before basic amenities.
First
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 and foremost, there are many vital sectors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 require financial
assistances
Correct your spelling
assistance
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 from
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 department to support
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
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 needs of
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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. Because of the aid, the people from below
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
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 line can improve
their
Change the pronoun
the
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 quality of their
life
Replace the word
lives
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 dramatically. To illustrate, supports ranging from medical services, educational facilities, and different modes of transportations can warrant an uplift of their standard of life.
By contrast
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, the
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
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 class would remain
in
Change preposition
apply
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impoverishment
Replace the word
impoverished
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is vital to support than building public parks for enjoyment.
Moreover
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,
instead
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 of constructing city gardens or parks, the residents could be motivated to explore nature life can bring many benefits. Since
this
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 initiative not only
do
Change the verb form
does
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 reduce the authorities’ financial burden, but the
dwellers
Change to a genitive case
dweller's
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 body gets sufficient amount of exercise
keep
Fix the infinitive
to keep
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 them fit. If they confined to their surrounding for a prolonged period of time,
this
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 could have damaged their both mental and physical health, so I personally, believe under no circumstances, should encourage spending money on entertainment facilities.
For example
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, the authority can offer free bicycles to roam around which has been a proven method in Sweden. So it is better to allocate fund for key areas than for city developments. In conclusion, even though supporters of
Add an article
the
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need
of
Change preposition
for
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 fun clubs have some tempting points, I firmly think that channelising towards the advancement of weaker sections could be far fruitful.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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