You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people's skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #parts #world #market #products #whiten #people #skin #outline #effects #terms #health #society

It is true that nowadays

people

pay more attention to their self-regulation,

in particular

, they put emphasis on the colour of their

skin

. Towards

this

issue,

people

who stand on different grounds will give completely different views.

Whereas

, I will analyze

this

situation from many aspects as follows.

To begin

with, there are several reasons why more and more

people

choose to turn their

skin

into white.

Firstly

, It may be the change of aesthetic concept and can be attributed to a vast array of television programmes. The characters in it are all extremely white and thin,

then

from a long time influences, white and thin are the judgements of the beauty of a person will leave a foundation in their mind.

Secondly

people

live a better life than in the past. The more money they earn, the more chances of investing themselves they will get. Only because they gain much more income, do they have the power to do things they like, especially take care of their

skin

Then

I would like to share a number of effects that

this

issue will bring with it. The first one may be its impact on

people

's health.

This

technology has developed in recent years,

in other words

, nobody can ensure if it will benefit

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

or not

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

harm

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them. Actually, it is not mature.

Besides

this

product does not like any other things just stays on the surface of your

skin

, it is more like vaccination and

finally

goes into your body. There exist risks. The second one is for society. Admittedly, exaggerating the usage of these white products may lead to a terrible atmosphere in daily life, what

people

really need to pursue is normal healthy beauty. In conclusion, for

this

product,

people

should see it from many perspectives and make the right choice.

Submitted by ysh424 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that your introduction provides a clear background to the topic and presents a clear thesis statement reflecting your position or the direction of your argument. Your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points discussed.

Logical Structure and Paragraphing

Develop your main points with more defined structure, ensuring that each paragraph discusses a single main idea related to the topic. The transitions between paragraphs should be smoother to guide the reader through your argument.

Supporting Details and Examples

Include more specific and varied examples to support your points. If personal examples are lacking, hypothetical scenarios or references to studies can be effective. Ensure that each main point made is well explained and tied back to your thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

306 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many countries aim to provide their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you agree or this disagree with the following statement: “ Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. “ ?

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the current system of both teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?