Some people believe that after a child enters school their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some may argue that after kids start attending school, they tend to be more influenced by their instructors than by their parents. In fact,
this
is a debatable statement. In order to construct our argumentation,
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
we must recognise that young people will be influenced by different elements
besides
teachers, and parents. And because of
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
we defend the position that distinct factors collaborate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the development of a
child
. The
first
and more important social contact that a small kid will have is with their progenitors, even outer of the scholar space.
Likewise
, fathers and mothers play
an
Change the article
a
show examples
fundamental role in education, becoming
one
of their
child
's idols or heroes.
Furthermore
, other colleagues, either the ones who live in the same neighbourhood, or who go to the same academic environment, tend to contribute with
one
's personality.
For example
, even during the primary infant ages, it is known that part of our
societal
Replace the word
social
show examples
life is
immitating
Correct your spelling
imitating
our peers in order to take part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the group. We want to feel equal to those
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
we admire.
Similarly
, coordinators
may
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
be become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
relevant
models
Change to a singular noun
model
show examples
to children, but they are not the uniques.
In addition
to them, there are books, other colleagues, actors and actress of
TV
Add an article
the TV
a TV
show examples
show. As a matter of fact, it is the combination of those aspects that will shape a human personality.
For instance
, if a
child
loves a particular cartoon, and feels completely identified with the story, she will probably dress
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and talk like her favourite character. The whole idea of being influenced by only
one
person is absolutely impossible. To conclude,
although
people may argue that after the beginning of the school life, a
child
will acquire some traits from his teachers, it is believed that they
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
just
one
that will participate in the development along with parents, and other children. Because of that, all those participants must
behaviour
Replace the word
behave
show examples
in an inspiring way, so that the small ones can pursue the best version of their own.
Submitted by graacielle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: