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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

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Introduction
Failing in school does not mean the end of your journey.
However
Linking Words
, it might be a step
for a
Change preposition
towards
show examples
 greater achievements. I will discuss the most crucial thing to
success
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
 from my point of view and what I think about
this
Linking Words
 argument.
Body paragraph 1
Although
Linking Words
 it is not ubiquitous,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are several individuals who failed in school but succeeded in
life
Use synonyms
. From my point of view, I think that
this
Linking Words
 case is not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal. I see that it is rare to see someone who
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 successful without getting a university degree.
Also
Linking Words
, those figures usually advance their abilities in only one thing
unlike
Punctuation problem
, unlike
show examples
 school.
For example
Linking Words
, businessmen must be privileged with leadership and marketing skills.
Body paragraph 2
There are many crucial principles to follow in order to
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
 in
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the most important thing is never giving up.
For example
Linking Words
, having many failed attempts does not end your journey. It may be a huge step
for an
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 outstanding
success
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consistency is important as well.
For instance
Linking Words
, everyone who
look
Correct subject-verb agreement
looks
show examples
 forward to
success
Use synonyms
 must work hard every day without excuses in order to develop
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 skills.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is clear to see that succeeding in
life
Use synonyms
 requires sacrifices.
However
Linking Words
, it is necessary.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Explain more clearly why some people do not do well at school but later do well in life. You can write about school tests not showing all skills, people finding their strength later, or work giving real-life experience.
task response
Your main idea about not giving up is clear, but explain why it is the most important thing. Show how it helps a person learn from mistakes, keep working, and reach a goal over time.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The example about business people has skills, but it does not show a person who failed at school and then did well. Add one short example with a clear result.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Make the first paragraph answer the question more directly. Say what you will explain, then give your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. In the first body paragraph, explain the reasons for later success. In the second, explain why not giving up matters. This will make the flow easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'also' and 'however' are useful, but some links do not fit the meaning. For example, use 'for this reason' when you give a result, and use 'in contrast' when you show a different idea.
coherence and cohesion
End with a fuller summary. Restate why some people can do well after school and name the key thing for success. The last line now gives a general idea, but it does not fully bring your answer together.
task response
You give a clear view that never giving up and working hard are important for success.
task response
You try to use examples, such as business people needing leadership and marketing skills.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words, such as 'for example,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion,' to guide the reader.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • succeed
  • life
  • school
  • fail
  • later
  • important
  • reason
  • people
  • sometimes
  • but
  • yet
  • because
  • so
  • life skills
  • real life
  • skill
  • problem
  • solve
  • learn
  • growth mindset
  • attitude
  • effort
  • hard work
  • practice
  • habit
  • discipline
  • focus
  • time
  • plan
  • goal
  • dream
  • change
  • adapt
  • failure
  • mistake
  • bounce back
  • support
  • family
  • friends
  • teachers
  • guide
  • opportunity
  • luck
  • chance
  • success
  • happiness
  • health
  • relationships
  • definition
  • education
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