IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children
In
this
 contemporary era, following the superstars by the younger generation as their
role
model
 is a burning topic of discussion.
However
, Many folks opine that
media
covering
Replace the word
coverage
show examples
 of celebrities adversely impacts children. I am totally
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
aforementioned
Add an article
the aforementioned
show examples
 notion, and I will discuss the same in upcoming paragraphs with examples. On the one hand, those who believe that presenting the legends by
media
 is harmful to teenagers argue that adolescents do not have enough maturity to think about their good or bad.
In addition
, if they follow a bad character as their
role
model
, they would behave negatively.
For instance
, a survey recently conducted by The British Government has revealed that the 80% of the younger generation follow famous persons as their ideal.
Therefore
, As the print and digital
media
 always try to cover the personal lives of superstars that affects
childen
Correct your spelling
children
 as well.
On the other hand
, those who think that
this
 is a positive trend and beneficial for children always argue that imitating their
role
 models in a
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 brings a plethora of
postitives
Correct your spelling
positives
positive
.
Additionally
, teenagers start dreaming big when they follow the legends as their
role
model
 that often results in a
success
 story.
For example
, Virat Kohli imitated Sachin
Tendulakar
Correct your spelling
Tendulkar
 as his
role
model
, which eventually made him one of the most successful
cricketer
Change to a plural noun
cricketers
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world.
Therefore
, by imitating their
role
 models, teenagers are achieving
success
 in their career. In conclusion, we have discussed both the pros and cons of
media
 coverage of legends on adolescents. In my opinion, If the younger generation follows the
success
 story and lifestyle of their
role
model
, they would achieve
success
 in their careers.
Submitted by Chandan Kumar Singh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: