IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by many that the large amount of media resources spending on
celebrities
Use synonyms
 will adversely affect
children
Use synonyms
’s development. In my opinion, the statement is not completely true as
such
Linking Words
coverage
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 influence
children
Use synonyms
 in a positive way. It is undeniable that the immense attention
celebrities
Use synonyms
 get from the media can be misleading to
children
Use synonyms
. It makes the idea of becoming famous important to
children
Use synonyms
, who might
consequently
Linking Words
 be oblivious to the fact that being famous does not equal having a meaningful and satisfactory
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
 have said that they envy
celebrities
Use synonyms
 for having a 'better
Use synonyms
life'
Correct your spelling
life
show examples
. It shows that some kids incorrectly
judges
Change the verb form
judge
show examples
 their quality of
Use synonyms
life based
Add a hyphen
life-based
show examples
 on how much public
recongnition
Correct your spelling
recognition
 people have.
Moreover
Linking Words
, glamorous profiles of
celebrities
Use synonyms
 shown to the public can convey the false message to
children
Use synonyms
 that
success
Use synonyms
 means having an attractive outlook and luxurious belongs.
However
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 extract positive information from celebrity
coverage
Use synonyms
. Some
celebrities
Use synonyms
 have inspiring
life
Use synonyms
 stories, in which they earned their places in the field through hard work and integrity. Learning about these stories through media can be inspiring to
children
Use synonyms
 who may, in turn, wish to pursue
success
Use synonyms
 with the same pathway.
For example
Linking Words
, French young soccer star Mbappe once pointed out that it was his childhood idol Christiano Ronaldo’s story that motivated him to train diligently, which lead to his
success
Use synonyms
 in the 2018 World Cup. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 celebrity
coverage
Use synonyms
 can sometimes misshape
children
Use synonyms
’s value, it can
also
Linking Words
 inspire
children
Use synonyms
 and help them with goal-achieving if the
coverage
Use synonyms
 of
celebrities
Use synonyms
 displays more of their spiritual experience than their material
success
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by angelazyy154 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity culture
  • Glamorization
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Self-esteem
  • Scandals
  • Role models
  • Moral development
  • Mental health
  • Influence
  • Exposure
  • Social media platforms
  • Charity work
  • Inappropriate behavior
  • Perfection image
  • Negative impact
  • Inspire children
What to do next:
Look at other essays: