For centuries, important parts of education have remained, such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made us a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?
The traditional material of education including reading, writing and maths is being speculated to shift by many, with a growing regard for desktop computer science as a necessary concept, a new idea in training students. In
this
essay, I will advocate this
idea and explain my reasons in favour of this
phenomenon.
In the present day, computers
have become a ubiquitous device that affects several sections of our lives. Without having essential knowledge of PC skills, we probably have a lot of troubles in our daily routines. Computers
have also
become an integral part of most jobs. Accountants, teachers, and bank clerks are only a few of many examples of this
reality.
Furthermore
, digital technology is replacing the other types of communication methods. The emergence of computers
gives many an opportunity to talk and see each other at the same time, a precious capability that makes an enormous contribution to saving our time and resources. For example
, meetings can be easily held with the attendants from different places of the world with just a few clicks.
Last
but not least, computers
have had a deep effect on the other sciences. With aid of the computers
, many calculations in maths, and engineering can be done in the blink of an eye. In this
respect, progress in these sciences can be accelerated considerably. For instance
, constructing a massive building or skyscraper has been possible just because the software does heavy arithmetic calculations.
To summarize, learning PC skills is a must for most people. Teaching basic instructions in schools will enable the students to be more prolific and successful in their future social lives and careers. Computers
can facilitate the process of communication and reduce the waste of time and money. The extraordinary potential of computing has made these intelligent devices a good aid in the process of research and development. All in all, it seems that unless one doesn't know how to work with a personal computer, they will be considered illustrated.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by presenting a clear argument in favor of adding computer skills as a fourth essential skill. However, some sentences could be more concise to maintain clarity. For instance, in the introduction, 'education including reading, writing and maths' might be smoother as 'education, including reading, writing, and maths.'
task achievement
To enhance clarity and ensure all ideas are easily understood, consider breaking down longer sentences into two. For example, 'The emergence of computers gives many an opportunity to talk and see each other at the same time, a precious capability that makes an enormous contribution to saving our time and resources,' could be clearer as 'The emergence of computers gives many the opportunity to talk and see each other simultaneously. This capability greatly contributes to saving time and resources.'
task achievement
While your main points are supported with relevant examples, try to ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly links to the main argument. This will make your essay more coherent. For example, the paragraph starting with 'Furthermore, digital technology...' could start with a sentence like 'Additionally, ensuring computer literacy will prepare students for a digitally connected world.'
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance, providing a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical flow, with each paragraph discussing a distinct reason why computer skills should be taught alongside traditional skills.
supported main points
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as how different professions rely on computer skills and the impact of digital technology on communication and calculations.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite