Some people watch sports on tv than playing sports Is this a positive or negative development.

Preference

Correct article usage

The preference

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to entertain themselves by watching

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

overweighing the trend of playing outdoors, nowadays. Individuals enjoy

games

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

rather than participating in those

sports

Use synonyms

, undoubtedly, it has a great negative impact on both

Use synonyms

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

and human beings, which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, enjoying

sports

Use synonyms

on television

instead

Linking Words

of playing by themselves has

plethora

Correct article usage

a plethora

show examples

bad

Change preposition

of bad

show examples

effects on the

health

Use synonyms

of the

persons

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

. Obesity is a serious

health

Use synonyms

issue, which mainly

occurred

Wrong verb form

occurs

show examples

due to

Linking Words

lack of exercise, unfortunately, it spreading in the world at a high pace

due to

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

decreased outdoor

games

Use synonyms

and a sedentary lifestyle. There is no doubt,

increased

Correct word choice

that increased

show examples

weight in the form of stoutness leads to various other

health

Use synonyms

problems as cardiovascular disorders,

also

Linking Words

passed to the next generation through genes. A survey conducted in Delhi,

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance, reveals that players who participated in

sports

Use synonyms

are 48% less likely to suffer from hazardous diseases as compared to non-participants.

Hence

Linking Words

, the

people

Use synonyms

who are becoming couch potatoes are on the edge of ample

health

Use synonyms

ailments.

Moreover

Linking Words

, watching

sports

Use synonyms

on television

instead

Linking Words

of playing paved the way to suppress the talent of gifted

people

Use synonyms

for

games

Use synonyms

. Lack of participation in outdoor

games

Use synonyms

keeps them apart from flourishing their talent and it

also

Linking Words

impacts the reputation of the

country

Use synonyms

because of

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

good players who have to lead their

Use synonyms

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

on the international level. For illustration, if there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

super

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

talent

Replace the word

talented

show examples

sportsmen in the typical

country

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

it will be difficult for the

country

Use synonyms

to get recognition over others. Ergo, it is inappropriate to just watch

sports

Use synonyms

online

instead

Linking Words

of playing.

To conclude

Linking Words

, it has a properly negative effect of depending upon the

Correct your spelling

show examples

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

rather than take part. So

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should encourage

people

Use synonyms

to join

games

Use synonyms

karampalvirk21

May 28, 2021

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task achievement

Your introduction presents the topic, but it could be clearer and more engaging. Try to paraphrase the question more effectively and state your opinion explicitly in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Your argument structure could be improved. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your thesis with relevant examples and explanations. Make sure to clearly link your ideas together.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences contain grammatical errors or awkward phrasing that disrupts the flow. Proofreading your work and simplifying complex sentences could enhance clarity.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples and statistics to support your claims, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Some people watch sports on tv than playing sports Is this a positive or negative development.

tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted. discuss the statement and give solution for its problem

Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with opinion?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people are off the opinion that giving a good first impression at an interviewer is the key securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?