Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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using a mobile phone during the
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
age is not appropriate and should avoid where others believed the opposite. These ideas will be discussed and
eloborated
Correct your spelling
elaborated
further
in
this
essay.
Firstly
, banning children
using
Change preposition
from using
show examples
phones
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
schoold
Correct your spelling
school
schools
days became a controversial topic among Asians due to the
increase
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increasing
show examples
number of teenage suicides. These cases are directly linking with
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
number of social media usage because of the high availability of mobile
phones
users. In
this
scenario
Add a comma
,scenario
show examples
parents tend to believe
imposing
Add an article
the imposing
show examples
ban
Correct article usage
a ban
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
mobile
phones
will be the only solution to make save their children from
this
tragedy. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, it is difficult to avoid
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
using them, because with the pandemic all the schools and institutes use online learning as their fundamental platform to conduct classes. Since everyone cannot afford a laptop,
parent
Add an article
the parent
a parent
show examples
will have to provide a mobile phone to children
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
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in order
show examples
to continue the studies.
this
makes them addicted to it due to the longer periods of
the
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apply
show examples
usage.
Secondly
, child psychology experts argive that, not giving a phone or mobile device to a child will make them feel isolated in their
geographycal
Correct your spelling
geographical
areas. Because connecting with global will expand their knowledge
immensly
Correct your spelling
immensely
. To do that they need to access mobile devices which are
avaialble
Correct your spelling
available
affordably. For an instance,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
searching for
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
would be an interesting task with
the
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apply
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technology advancement, Due to
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
reason, education evolved from
techer
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teacher
centric to
student centric
Add a hyphen
student-centric
show examples
easily.
This
will be a plus point for a better future with
more
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a more
show examples
educated and
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
generation. By looking at the advantages and the opportunities available I believe that, society should not support
to
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apply
show examples
the idea of banning mobile
phones
from teenagers. In conclusion, as always there are two sides
of
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to
show examples
everything. Where some tend to
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
and some hate.
Although
using mobile
phones
during the
school age
Add a hyphen
school-age
show examples
have multiple positive and negative factors, dealing
this
with a strong
stratergy
Correct your spelling
strategy
will make
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everyone's
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
life easy.
Submitted by ridmachathu90 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
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