Some people think it is more important to develop a successful career while ‎others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. ‎Discuss both sides and give your opinion.‎

#people #career #‎others #time #friends #‎discuss

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Nowadays, many people believe that

career

Use synonyms

development is critical due to the ‎fierce competition in modern society. Simultaneously, some people opine that ‎those who live a fast-paced life should slow down and spend more time with ‎family and friends. In

this

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essay, I will examine both sides of the debate before ‎concluding.‎

First

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, there is no doubt that

career

Use synonyms

development contributes to improving ‎people’s living standards and sense of

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. It is possible to say that a ‎person who tends to devote more time to his/her job pursues more financial ‎return. The main reason for

this

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is that financial security now has become highly ‎vital to a family—a household has to bear the daily expenses that are ‎continuously rising and pay the exorbitant tuition fee of its children.

Besides

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, a ‎prestigious job brings an individual a sense of

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, including fame and ‎higher social status.‎

However

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, others believe that people must dedicate more time to their friends and ‎family since the fast pace of life somehow leads to the disintegration of families ‎and relationships.

For example

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, parents who pursue money and

career

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are more ‎likely to neglect their children and the elders in their family; college graduates who ‎seek better job opportunities choose to migrate to metropolises far away from ‎their home.‎ To summarize, there is no easy answer to

this

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debate.

However

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, on balance, we ‎have to admit that both

career

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and family play a significant role in our lives. ‎

Hence

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, it is important

Submitted by arash.dejkameh on Sun May 30 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Some people think it is more important to develop a successful career while ‎others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. ‎Discuss both sides and give your opinion.‎

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

Some people prefer to live in hot climate; however, others prefer to live in cold regions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.