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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich people are getting richer while poor people are getting poorer. Why is it happening ? What are its effects, and how it can be tackled ?

#people #effects
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Income disparity between the affluent and non-affluent sections is increasing. An ineffective
education
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system
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 is responsible for the same, and owing to it, the crime is increasing, while the innovations are decreasing.
Moreover
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, approaches to revamping the
education
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system
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 to mitigate
this
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 problem are discussed ahead. Most schools are not imparting financial knowledge. Teachers are making their job-ready and not teaching about saving money, taking financial risks and making an investment for bigger profits.
For instance
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, the concept of assets and liabilities is not a part of the formal
education
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system
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 till 11th grade.
Hence
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, being unaware of effective money management techniques is making the poor even poorer. Lacking the right knowledge, poor people may indulge in some criminal activities. When they observe rich people enjoying luxuries, they could get lured by their lifestyle, and to be like them, some follow unfair means,
such
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 as involving in robberies or thefts thereby, leading to an unsafe society.
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Further
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,Further
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 it leads to, lesser discoveries. Had wealth been distributed uniformly among all, everyone would have got an equal opportunity to put forward their ideas at every platform;
however
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, fewer people participating in decision-making results in the slow progress of the society.
Nevertheless
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, the afore-mentioned adverse effects can be reforming the schools’ curriculum.
Firstly
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, by having financial management topics in primary classes poor children can
also
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 acquire money management skills from the very beginning
; ,
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;
,
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additionally
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,additionally
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 they could be taught trading as well as negotiation skills by conducting regular make and sell events. Resultantly, children from economically weaker sections would become capable of climbing the economic ladder. In conclusion,
this
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 essay has covered three aspects: the ineffective
system
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 of schools resulting in the wealth gap; rise in law-breaking
besides
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 fewer inventions from it; and ways to improve the
education
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system
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 to bridge the economic gap.
Submitted by gsingla730 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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