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Band 7.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
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It is undeniable that involving various activities throughout high school time is a valuable experience for teenagers. In my opinion,
although
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 teenagers gain some considerable benefits from working unpaid during education, there are some possible drawbacks to
this
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 mandatory program. (40) Students who participate in a period of voluntary work during their education time can benefit extremely in many tasks.
First
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 of all, it helps them to experience different activities which improve their knowledge and intelligence
moreover
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 academic qualifications. It is undoubtedly vital for high school students to gain some professional skills before graduating which could significantly motivate them to opt for a wide range of occupations.
Secondly
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, communicating with different people especially aiding the elderly and doing some valuable community task outside the home, helps the young population get to know more about society. It certainly improves their social proficiency which makes them responsible citizens. (105)
On the other hand
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, there may be some disadvantages if the young generations take part in obligatory unpaid community tasks.
Firstly
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, the program must be well planned in order not to conflict with their expected study routine. Lack of time and concentration on doing their homework and school program might affect their educational achievement.
Secondly
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, some voluntary work may put the youngsters at potential risks. They may be in great peril while being alone in an unidentified place with an unknown individual. So, advanced management by authorities and
also
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 parents’ supervision on every social work is essential to ensure the security of volunteers exclusively. (105) In conclusion, despite some drawbacks, I believe that involving
such
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 community unpaid works could help the young people to gain precious skills and experiments which would be beneficial both for them and the society
Submitted by Elahe on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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