The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or dis agree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#growth #shops #towns #cities #dis #reason

Nowadays, people around the world

are incline

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are inclining

are inclined

show examples

towards the online purchase of various products. Some people

says

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say

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that

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apply

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online shopping will lead the market in future and traditional stores will struggle to survive and, which will ultimately close.

Firstly

, online shops provide numerous offers and discount, which attracts more customers.

Moreover

, special offers are valid only through online purchase, which

are

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more beneficial

then

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than

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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in-store purchase.

Secondly

, online services

saves

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save

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people's tie and money, which is good for the consumers.

for example

, some shops provide free delivery on

certain

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a certain

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amount of order.

Correct your spelling

whereas

show examples

where as

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whereas

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Remove the comma

apply

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some offer

amazing

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an amazing

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discount on

Correct your spelling

particular

perticular

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a perticular

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amount of order.

On the other hand

, traditional shopping allows consumers to try goods

rightaway

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right away

i.e.

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apply

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if someone wants to buy cloth, they can immediately try

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

on and decide

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whether

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wether

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whether

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they will keep

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them

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or not. In-store shopping is

also

convenient for those who are indecisive regarding which product to buy. e.g.

Add a hyphen

in-store

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store

Add a comma

,store

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there are customer service representatives who

helps

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help

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guests to better decide what would be

good

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a good

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fit for their need. All in all, according to

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

traditional shops will not be close just because of immense growth in

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

shopping market.

Submitted by patelkrupa53 on Tue Jun 01 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

196 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or dis agree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?