The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or dis agree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, people around the world
are incline
Change the verb form
are inclining
are inclined
show examples
towards the online purchase of various products. Some people
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
online shopping will lead the market in future and traditional stores will struggle to survive and, which will ultimately close.
Firstly
, online shops provide numerous offers and discount, which attracts more customers.
Moreover
, special offers are valid only through online purchase, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more beneficial
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
in-store purchase.
Secondly
, online services
saves
Change the verb form
save
show examples
people's tie and money, which is good for the consumers.
for example
, some shops provide free delivery on
certain
Change the article
a certain
show examples
amount of order.
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some offer
amazing
Add an article
an amazing
show examples
discount on
Correct your spelling
particular
perticular
Correct article usage
a perticular
show examples
amount of order.
On the other hand
, traditional shopping allows consumers to try goods
rightaway
Correct your spelling
right away
i.e.
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if someone wants to buy cloth, they can immediately try
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
on and decide
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
they will keep
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
or not. In-store shopping is
also
convenient for those who are indecisive regarding which product to buy. e.g.
in
Add a hyphen
in-store
show examples
store
Add a comma
,store
show examples
there are customer service representatives who
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
guests to better decide what would be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
fit for their need. All in all, according to
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
traditional shops will not be close just because of immense growth in
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
shopping market.
Submitted by patelkrupa53 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: