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Writing Samples /
Band 2

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or dis agree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#growth #shops #towns #cities #dis #reason
Nowadays, people around the world
are incline
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are inclining
are inclined
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 towards the online purchase of various products. Some people
says
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say
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 that
,
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apply
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 online shopping will lead the market in future and traditional stores will struggle to survive and, which will ultimately close.
Firstly
, online shops provide numerous offers and discount, which attracts more customers.
Moreover
, special offers are valid only through online purchase, which
are
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is
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 more beneficial
then
Replace the word
than
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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in-store purchase.
Secondly
, online services
saves
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save
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 people's tie and money, which is good for the consumers.
for example
, some shops provide free delivery on
certain
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a certain
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 amount of order.
Correct your spelling
whereas
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where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some offer
amazing
Add an article
an amazing
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 discount on
Correct your spelling
particular
perticular
Correct article usage
a perticular
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 amount of order.
On the other hand
, traditional shopping allows consumers to try goods
rightaway
Correct your spelling
right away
 i.e.
,
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apply
show examples
 if someone wants to buy cloth, they can immediately try
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 on and decide
Correct your spelling
whether
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wether
Correct your spelling
whether
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 they will keep
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 or not. In-store shopping is
also
 convenient for those who are indecisive regarding which product to buy. e.g.
in
Add a hyphen
in-store
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store
Add a comma
,store
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 there are customer service representatives who
helps
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help
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 guests to better decide what would be
good
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a good
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 fit for their need. All in all, according to
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
 traditional shops will not be close just because of immense growth in
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 shopping market.
Submitted by patelkrupa53 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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