IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the environment as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#people #meat #fish #health #environment
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There are a number of
people
 who believe the only way to maintain good
health
while
 benefitting the environment at large is by refraining from eating
meat
 and
fish
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
this
 thinking and share my opinion on my matter.
Firstly
, I will consider the environmental benefits of being vegetarian.
Then
, I will consider the
health
 implications of eating a
meat
-free diet. The environmental benefit is a major factor that leads
people
 to choose a vegetarian diet. The source of all non-vegetarian food is animals and to eat a non-vegetarian meal means to kill an animal. Many
people
 think of it as an ethical issue which is why they find it difficult to eat
fish
 and meats.
For example
, it is now widely known that feeding a cow costs a lot of money
due to
 the amount of food needed to be grown to feed the cow. It is much more environmentally friendly to eat vegetables than a cow. Some
people
 shift towards vegetarianism
due to
health
 concerns believing that eating too much
meat
 will invite unwanted
health
 problems.
While
 it is true that
health
 problems
such
 as swine flu and ringworm happen because of eating infected
meat
, if precautions are taken
while
 cooking the
meat
 and if it is bought from a hygienic store, these problems can be countered.
Fish
 and meats contain some nutrients
such
 as proteins, vitamin B12 and omega fatty acids that cannot be found in plant-based food. They are essential for a person to be healthy and if an individual doesn’t consume
meat
 and
fish
 directly, they will have to consume supplements to obtain those nutrients. These supplements
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
are derived from animals, which is why it is better to consume healthy
fish
 and
meat
instead
 of relying on
health
 supplements later on.
It is clear that
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
show examples
 many reasons for becoming a vegetarian. In my opinion, I think that it is important to maintain a balanced diet which is not possible by abstaining from eating
fish
 and
meat
.
Submitted by randy.chandra.1694 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plant-based diet
  • Sustainable living
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Carbon footprint
  • Deforestation
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Antioxidants
  • Livestock farming
  • Biodiversity
  • Ethical stance
  • Animal cruelty
  • Cultural shifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: