Some people think that the goverment is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #goverment #money #arts

It is much debated whether

arts

has always seen as a waste of

money

, so it ought to

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

less

money

because society is facing more important issues. I do not fully agree with

this

statement, since I strongly believe that

arts

should be supported

Change preposition

show examples

the same way as other types of activities

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they have the same value,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

there are more areas that need

this

money

urgently.

Firstly

this

essay

discuss

Change the verb form

discusses

show examples

why

arts

are important and should

Change the verb form

be helped

show examples

helped

Change the form of the verb

help

show examples

by public funding, and

secondly

Add a comma

,secondly

show examples

I will explain the reason why

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

also

should expend the rest of its funds elsewhere.

First

of all,

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

arts

Change the noun form

art

show examples

world should be helped by public funding. For some people it is their career, and for others is a way to escape from the reality

Correct your spelling

show examples

it is simply their leisure activity, but for both groups is

Change the article

show examples

important part of their life, mainly for the

first

one. Because it has always been downplayed, due to that, it is more complicated to grow in

this

field. A year ago, BBC did a survey and it came out that more than 60% of people with stress and anxiety, managed to relax thanks to some type of art,

such

as dancing, drawing...

On the other hand

, there are areas which have more importance

such

as public health or education, which are

ones

Correct pronoun usage

one

show examples

of the most essentials. Both of them have a vital function because they are pillars of human rights, and should receive the lion's share of public funding in my opinion, due to everyone has not

have

Change the verb form

had

show examples

the same financial situation but everyone should have access to it. Recently it has been

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

protests

Correct the article-noun agreement

protest

show examples

about USA health because it is not free, the sad and shocking

story

Correct your spelling

storey

show examples

woman who passed away

to a hospital in Florida stirred everyone's feelings, she was giving

Remove the article

apply

show examples

birth

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since she has not had the

money

to afford it, the hospital did not attend her. In conclusion, I agree that

arts

should be supported by public funds,

althought

Correct your spelling

although

I believe

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should not increase the amount of

money

spend on it, and

expend

Correct your spelling

expand

show examples

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

areas that are more significant.

Submitted by saalmacm02 on Wed Jun 02 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

361 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the goverment is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There are parents who are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school in some countries. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar ,which causes many health problems .Sugary products shoud be mad more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree ?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.