Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So advertisements to the children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary world, people
see countless advertisements
in a day. A certain
proportions of Correct the article-noun agreement
Certain
people
opine that youngsters are likely to be affected by commercials
in a negative way, and that should be banned for them. I strongly agree with this
opinion because advertisements
surely have major impacts and obesity
among children
caused by unhealthy diets is a serious problem.
To begin
with, the first
reason why I support the issue is that advertisements
have a great impact on people
's decision. In general, people
see commercials
on a TV around 200 times a day according to research by an ad agency in 2014. All of these advertisements
are made artfully and aim to sell goods and services to consumers. On top of that, children
are unable to judge what the commercials
aim to as well as adult
do, since they do not have enough Add an article
an adult
discernments
.
Correct your spelling
discernment
In addition
to this
, another reason why I support banning advertising for children
is to prevent obesity
among them. In fact, the number of obesity
Replace the word
obese
children
has been increasing for past
several decadesCorrect article usage
the past
,
and accounts for 120 million Remove the comma
apply
people
in the world. One reason for this
is an excessive advertisement of snacks for children
. For example
, in the UK about 48 per cent of TV commercials
were related to snacks, and the obesity
rate among British children
will decline by 5 points if the broadcast stations stop to broadcast
Change the verb form
broadcasting
such
advertisements
.
To conclude, I reiterate my complete agreement with the topic. This
is because advertisements
have huge impacts on people
's lives and the making the obesity
rate among youngsters better by improving their diets.Submitted by maho.140126 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite