Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So advertisements to the children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

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this

Linking Words

contemporary world,

people

Use synonyms

see countless

advertisements

Use synonyms

in a day.

A certain

Correct the article-noun agreement

Certain

show examples

proportions of

people

Use synonyms

opine that youngsters are likely to be affected by

commercials

Use synonyms

in a negative way, and that should be banned for them. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion because

advertisements

Use synonyms

surely have major impacts and

obesity

Use synonyms

among

children

Use synonyms

caused by unhealthy diets is a serious problem.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the

first

Linking Words

reason why I support the issue is that

advertisements

Use synonyms

have a great impact on

people

Use synonyms

's decision. In general,

people

Use synonyms

see

commercials

Use synonyms

on a TV around 200 times a day according to research by an ad agency in 2014. All of these

advertisements

Use synonyms

are made artfully and aim to sell goods and services to consumers. On top of that,

children

Use synonyms

are unable to judge what the

commercials

Use synonyms

aim to as well as

adult

Add an article

an adult

show examples

do, since they do not have enough

discernments

Correct your spelling

discernment

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, another reason why I support banning advertising for

children

Use synonyms

is to prevent

obesity

Use synonyms

among them. In fact, the number of

Use synonyms

obesity

Replace the word

obese

show examples

children

Use synonyms

has been increasing for

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

several decades

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and accounts for 120 million

people

Use synonyms

in the world. One reason for

this

Linking Words

is an excessive advertisement of snacks for

children

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in the UK about 48 per cent of TV

commercials

Use synonyms

were related to snacks, and the

obesity

Use synonyms

rate among British

children

Use synonyms

will decline by 5 points if the broadcast stations stop

to broadcast

Change the verb form

broadcasting

show examples

such

Linking Words

advertisements

Use synonyms

. To conclude, I reiterate my complete agreement with the topic.

This

Linking Words

is because

advertisements

Use synonyms

have huge impacts on

people

Use synonyms

's lives and the making the

obesity

Use synonyms

rate among youngsters better by improving their diets.

maho.140126Thu Jun 03 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

impressionable
pester
tactical advertising strategies
financial strain
consumerism
materialistic attitudes
commercial free speech
innovative products
consumer exposure
informed choices

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Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So advertisements to the children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, a lot of children have health issues and are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has become easier and more affortable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.