Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So advertisements to the children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
The indefinite article A may not be required with the plural noun proportions in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.
The noun phrase adult seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.
The word discernments doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.
The word obesity doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.
It seems that article use may be incorrect here.
It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.
To broadcast doesn’t seem to work here.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- in additional
- for example
- for instance
- even though