Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opiniion

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this

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era,

sports

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played a crucial role in enhancing our mental and physical health. It is integrated with all schools and considered as a new subject.

Nevertheless

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, A wide range of individuals believe that competitive games are essential for our children's education,

while

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others assume that it has hazards. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on both views. On the one hand,

sports

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have a positive effect on our children. It can improve their muscles and bones.

Moreover

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, when they are applied for a competition, it can spark their spirits. The

sports

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can teach them when they can celebrate and when they can not.

This

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can increase their manners and their sportsmanship.

For instance

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, In China, every month, a confined competition is established.

This

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made the kids connect with other kids in another area.

This

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assisted the child to improve his communication skills and manners.

On the other hand

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, it can have its drawbacks.

Firstly

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, the kid may feel jealous if he loses.

This

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can affect his spirit.

In addition

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, he can be more violent and want to hurt others if he loses. One of the sparked instances, was when the Egyptian cyclist stuttered her competitor. It felt and had serious injuries. Moving

further

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, some of the pupils will waste their time. They will concentrate on

sports

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and will be careless about their subjects.

This

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will reflect on their marks and can diminish it. In conclusion, there will be a debate on

this

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statement. The school teachers and parents should play a critical role in to balance between studying and playing. They should

also

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teach them the meaning of the sportsmanship.

mohannadsmeWed Aug 07 2024

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General

Your essay provides a balanced discussion of the topic, but there are some areas that can be improved. It's important to ensure that all points are clearly explained and supported with relevant examples.

Grammar

Minor grammar and vocabulary errors are present. Try to review and revise your essay to minimize such errors for a higher score.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph clearly presents a single main idea and flows logically from one to the next.

Task Response

Enhance your examples with more specific details or studies to illustrate your points more effectively.

Introduction

Your introduction is clear and sets the context for the discussion.

Task Achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.

Conclusion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces the necessity for balance.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opiniion

Computers are replacing humans. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries around the world, men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?-