IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #care
It is true to say that in recent years, humankind has been confronting environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 which is the most significant issue ever.
Although
 many who conscious of environmental
issues
, a vast majority of
people
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not concerned about
this
 important problem adequately.
This
 essay will discuss why I firmly advocate
this
 argument which will end with probably catastrophic. First of all, undoubtedly, the environment has been turned into a partly unhabitable place for almost all species except
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
This
 unwanted situation has a lot of reasons which
caused
Add a missing verb
are caused
show examples
 by human behaviours. It can be explained by climate change one of the most important environmental
issues
 which is caused by
people
's preferences
such
 as using fossil fuels
instead
 of renewable energy.
Moreover
, the other reason can be considered unconscious
people
 who lack knowledge of the
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 of environmental disasters.
On the other hand
, even though awareness of environmental
issues
 has been increasing among
people
, a considerable number of
people
 still do not consider
this
, unfortunately.
This
 situation can be explained by recent academic results; a vast amount of
people
 do not know that using fossil fuels is the most important factor of environmental
issues
, and
as a consequence
 of
this
 these
people
 do not consider
this
 problem.
Moreover
, the other academic results support that environmental
issues
 have been becoming increasingly
deteriorate
Wrong verb form
deteriorating
show examples
due to
 existing unconscious
people
.
To conclude
, even though a few organisations and governments try to create consciousness of environmental
issues
, there are still a remarkable number of
people
 who do not consider these problems for a lot of reasons.
Therefore
, I completely agree with
this
 argument.
Submitted by karampalvirk21 on

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task achievement
Although your essay presents an overall position, it should have a more nuanced response with a clear thesis statement. Avoid overly broad generalizations and try to provide a balanced argument with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly structure your essay with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that restates your main points. Each body paragraph should have a central idea and be connected to your overall argument.
task achievement
Your essay tends to make assertions without providing detailed examples. Develop your position with specific, relevant examples from real-world situations, reports, or studies to illustrate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • immediate needs
  • connect with
  • distant
  • abstract
  • economic considerations
  • growing awareness
  • active participation
  • initiatives
  • movements
  • impacts
  • well-being
What to do next:
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