IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many countries, traditions and customs are disappearing. What are the reasons? What should schools and parents do to keeping our traditions alive?

#countries #traditions #customs #schools #parents
The
traditions
 and
cultures
 are disappeared in many countries because individuals were forgotten their
traditions
.
Also
, most of the
schools
Change to a genitive case
school's
schools'
show examples
 teachers and
parents
 are not told any past life stories or their experiences. Nowadays, the competition will be increased by between a people
day
Change the noun form
days
show examples
 by day,
such
 as educations, jobs, and wages. So, they do not think about their past decades.
To begin
 with, most of the elder people who were spent their time on social media, and online purchase, were not guided
their
Change preposition
by their
show examples
 child or children’s
traditions
.
For example
, the researchers found, most of the older people have been spent,
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30% time on social media.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant number of
parents
 were ordered home delivery foods because they are not prepared the food items in the house. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, most of the traditional food items were forgotten by the
parents
 and children life.
In addition
, the
parents
 were taught their children by introducing
traditions
 and
cultures
.
For instance
, the 30 minutes per day time will be allocated by their
parents
 and talk about their
cultures
 and
traditions
.
Similarly
, ancestors’
traditions
 and
cultures
 will be taught in the schools by the teachers.
For example
, teachers can teach at least 30 minutes
ancestor’s
Change preposition
of ancestor’s
show examples
 stories. To
summaries
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
, younger age groups should be leant a lot of things from their parent’s
cultures
 and
traditions
 in order to improve younger’s knowledge, to guide their cooking traditional food items, and to develop children’s lifestyles. The
traditions
 and customs are vitally important for people’s life.
Submitted by paranthaman1407 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: