Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? Agree or disagree?

#today’s #society #people #weight #diets #exercise #regimes #food #lifestyle #first

Nowadays obesity has become a major concern.

Although

, there are various reasons responsible for

this

however

sub-standard consumption is the major cause.

Moreover

, the unorganised standard of living has added to the problem.

This

essay discusses whether special diets or physical activity are enough to deal with

this

issue followed by an opinion.

To begin

with, whatever we consume is reflected on the outside. If we eat healthy

food

such

as green vegetables and fruits our body would get sufficient nutrients thereby helping in maintaining an optimum weight.

Additionally

, our immunity is increased and we don’t fall sick easily.

Further

, exercise is the best way to get rid of unhealthy components present in our body. We can do

this

by different means like going for a walk, jogging, doing yoga and much more.

However

, a lot of people have a perception that junk

food

and imbalanced living are a bigger concern than just losing weight. The way of living has evolved in

such

order that

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

today is unable to take out time even for the basic things.

For instance

usually

Add a comma

,usually

show examples

employees have longer working hours due to which

major

Correct article usage

a major

show examples

portion of their day is spent at work.

Therefore

, when they return home they do not have moments to cook or exercise.

Consequently

, they eat processed

food

which results in gaining extra weight as well. In my opinion, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, having good eating habits and doing exercise regularly go hand in hand. Humans should try to organise their schedule in

such

manner that their body is not ignored or adversely affected. To conclude, overnight change amongst folks is not possible. They should be made aware and motivated to start inculcating adequate nutritional

food

in their diet and adopt an appropriate lifestyle.

Submitted by harsimrankaur2400 on Fri Jun 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? Agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The Internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environment problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.