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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? Agree or disagree?

#today’s #society #people #weight #diets #exercise #regimes #food #lifestyle #first
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Nowadays obesity has become a major concern.
Although
, there are various reasons responsible for
this
however
 sub-standard consumption is the major cause.
Moreover
, the unorganised standard of living has added to the problem.
This
 essay discusses whether special diets or physical activity are enough to deal with
this
 issue followed by an opinion.
To begin
 with, whatever we consume is reflected on the outside. If we eat healthy
food
such
 as green vegetables and fruits our body would get sufficient nutrients thereby helping in maintaining an optimum weight.
Additionally
, our immunity is increased and we don’t fall sick easily.
Further
, exercise is the best way to get rid of unhealthy components present in our body. We can do
this
 by different means like going for a walk, jogging, doing yoga and much more.
However
, a lot of people have a perception that junk
food
 and imbalanced living are a bigger concern than just losing weight. The way of living has evolved in
such
 order that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 today is unable to take out time even for the basic things.
For instance
,
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
 employees have longer working hours due to which
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 portion of their day is spent at work.
Therefore
, when they return home they do not have moments to cook or exercise.
Consequently
, they eat processed
food
 which results in gaining extra weight as well. In my opinion, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, having good eating habits and doing exercise regularly go hand in hand. Humans should try to organise their schedule in
such
 manner that their body is not ignored or adversely affected. To conclude, overnight change amongst folks is not possible. They should be made aware and motivated to start inculcating adequate nutritional
food
 in their diet and adopt an appropriate lifestyle.
Submitted by harsimrankaur2400 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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