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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
In
this
 era, we all
use
 social media to get updated with the world. so every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
 have pros and cons so
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 depend on us how we
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
 in a good manner or in a bad manner. In the following essay, I would like to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
advertisement
 in
this
 world.
Firstly
, an advantage of
advertisement
 would be that it helps us to learn about new products by telling how to
use
 them and how do they work.
For example
, when we see the
advertisement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any washing machine, they provide us information
such
 as the machine is good for that loads, we
use
, much detergent, what type of clothes could be washed, and the time takes to finish detergent. As a consequence, consumers can know whether the product is suitable for them and buy that machine rather
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 getting
a
Correct article usage
the
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 wrong one.
Secondly
,
on the other hand
, a disadvantage might be when there is any new phones come
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 market they show
price
Correct article usage
the price
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if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
phones
Correct article usage
the phones
show examples
 quality and youngsters try to get new phones. they bother
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 mom dad to get
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 phone some of the middle family do not have that much money to buy expensive
things
 and they take some wrong steps to get that. they
also
 go away from
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 studies and
also
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 eyesight
bu
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 using
phone
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 day . In my conclusion, the benefit of
advertisement
 is that it
enable
Change the verb form
enables
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 consumers to get information to prevent a wrong
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 of products.
On the other hand
, the drawback would be that it passionate individuals to the commodities and leads to
deteriorate
Change the verb form
deteriorating
show examples
 the buyers’ life.
In
Correct your spelling
I
show examples
 always tries
a
Correct article usage
apply
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postive
Correct your spelling
positive
things
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 helpful for us . And make our life easier and always get
Add an article
an update
show examples
update
Correct your spelling
updated
show examples
 with new technology.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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