IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
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In
this
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 era, we all
use
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 social media to get updated with the world. so every
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things
Change to a singular noun
thing
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 have pros and cons so
its
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it
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 depend on us how we
use
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the
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apply
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things
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 in a good manner or in a bad manner. In the following essay, I would like to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of
advertisement
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 in
this
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 world.
Firstly
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, an advantage of
advertisement
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 would be that it helps us to learn about new products by telling how to
use
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 them and how do they work.
For example
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, when we see the
advertisement
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of
Change preposition
for
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 any washing machine, they provide us information
such
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 as the machine is good for that loads, we
use
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, much detergent, what type of clothes could be washed, and the time takes to finish detergent. As a consequence, consumers can know whether the product is suitable for them and buy that machine rather
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then
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than
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 getting
a
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the
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 wrong one.
Secondly
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,
on the other hand
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, a disadvantage might be when there is any new phones come
in
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into
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 market they show
price
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the price
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if
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of
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phones
Correct article usage
the phones
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 quality and youngsters try to get new phones. they bother
there
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their
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 mom dad to get
new
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a new
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 phone some of the middle family do not have that much money to buy expensive
things
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 and they take some wrong steps to get that. they
also
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 go away from
there
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their
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 studies and
also
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effect
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affect
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there
Correct your spelling
their
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 eyesight
bu
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by
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 using
phone
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their phone
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whole
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the whole
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 day . In my conclusion, the benefit of
advertisement
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 is that it
enable
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enables
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 consumers to get information to prevent a wrong
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 of products.
On the other hand
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, the drawback would be that it passionate individuals to the commodities and leads to
deteriorate
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deteriorating
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 the buyers’ life.
In
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I
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 always tries
a
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apply
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postive
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positive
things
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 which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 helpful for us . And make our life easier and always get
Add an article
an update
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update
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updated
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 with new technology.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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