Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The debate on the ideal way to discipline youngsters has led to polarized views.
Although
a number of individuals believe that they should be penalized for their wrong behaviour
, others are of contrary opinion
.In my opinion
, I vehemently agree with the view that they should be disciplined for bad attitudes as this
will help to instil good behaviour
into them and make them change speedily
On the one hand , a reasonable number of individuals believe that rewards and praises
are more beneficial. They believe Fix the agreement mistake
praise
this
will motivate them to deviate from bad behaviour
rather than when children are being punished. Moreso, they believe youngster
that are rewarded perform better in a given task than those that are scolded .Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
For example
, A reseach
that was carried out in a primary school in Correct your spelling
research
lagos
,it was reported that 80% of juveniles that were rewarded were outstanding in their performances as opposed to those that were punished.Change the capitalization
Lagos
logos
However
, despite the benefits
I completely disagree with Add a comma
benefits,
this
view, as it is not an effective method of discipline
On the other hand
, some people think and I agree that young ones should be admonished for wrong acts .This
is because by doing so,it will instil discipline into them .In other
words
they will be able to differentiate between right and wrong Add a comma
words,
behaviour
and make them desist from negative deeds. For instance
, A recent report in magazine
stated that 70% of youngsters scolded for behaving wrongly always have a change of attitude so that they Correct article usage
a magazine
wont
be reprimanded again .Add an apostrophe
won't
In addition
, if kids are given punishment they will adopt good deeds at a very fast speed other than rewarding them . From the aforementioned example, it is apparent that kids should be penalized for their incorrect ways in order to make them adopt good manners.
In conclusion, some individuals are of the opinion
that young ones should be disciplined for their bad manners while
others feel they should rather be appreciated .In my opinion
, I totally agree with the view that they should be rebuke
for their Change the verb form
be rebuked
grevious
act as Correct your spelling
grievous
this
will make them deviate from wrong ways and learn positive
attitude quicklyCorrect article usage
a positive
Submitted by Ishola Busayo on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The introduction could be more clearly presented with a balanced overview of both views. Consider adding a thesis statement that outlines the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay provides a clear and comprehensive answer to the essay question by discussing both views equally and presenting a balanced opinion.
lexical resource
Vary the vocabulary and use more sophisticated and precise language. Expand the range of vocabulary to express ideas more accurately and effectively.
grammatical range
Use a wider range of complex sentence structures and make sure to maintain grammatical accuracy throughout the essay.
