IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

•The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. • Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

•The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. • Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#•the #information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph below reports the dates
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 participation at fun locals and entrance value to those venues in 2009. We can see the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 prices from the different types of
Add an article
the match
a match
show examples
match
Fix the agreement mistake
matches
show examples
 from
2009
Correct article usage
the 2009
show examples
 Admission Price.
Go
Wrong verb form
Going
show examples
 to
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
 is the most
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 activity for a family than
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 to a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 match but with
this
Linking Words
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
 we can
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 a football game is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
double that to go a basketball round. Theme Parks are as expensive as football matches (regardless of team)
while
Linking Words
 cricket matches have a lower cost but
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
 higher than the cinema. Prices for families are convenient because by making a quick calculation you can save on the total price so that it is not an excessive cost for four people. We find greater savings for a family in theme parks than in football, basketball or cricket matches but
also
Linking Words
 with respect to
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
.
Submitted by silyakar on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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