IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some experts believe it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at the primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss both this views and give your opinion.

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A foreign
language
Use synonyms
widen
Change the verb form
widens
show examples
 a person’s possibilities throughout life. Some people defend that it is highly
advisible
Correct your spelling
advisable
 for children to start learning another
language
Use synonyms
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 an early age whereas others defend they ought to start in high school. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and give my own opinion. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, a child who is a young learner of a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 tend to be proficient sooner and they
broad
Replace the word
broaden
show examples
 their professional life horizons once adults. They usually become
fast-learners
Correct your spelling
fast learners
show examples
into
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other subjects once they had developed their brain
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 an early age.
For example
Linking Words
, a
children
Correct the article-noun agreement
child
show examples
 who
learns
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 a different
idiom
Use synonyms
 since
kidsgarden
Correct your spelling
kids garden
 tends to be a better problem solver than the other
one
Use synonyms
 who has not been exposed to a different way of communication.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
under
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a professional perspective, companies may prefer hiring candidates who
speaks
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
 more than
one
Use synonyms
idiom
Use synonyms
 fluently. More than that, an employee which is
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 and who has
enhirited
Correct your spelling
inherited
 some
habilities
Correct your spelling
abilities
show examples
 acquired from early
language
Use synonyms
 exposure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an infant barely understands how a
language
Use synonyms
 properly is and in
teenagehood
Add a comma
,teenagehood
show examples
 they are able to fully learn
a
Change the article
an
show examples
idiom
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, it might be challenging to communicate and assimilate two languages at the same moment of a child’s brain
devleopment
Correct your spelling
development
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they may mix both idioms and not be able to make themselves clear. Learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is not simple and
this
Linking Words
 child once exposed to more than
a
Change the article
an
show examples
idiom
Use synonyms
 could lack
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good communication in school,
for instance
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 acquire a high level of knowledge of their mother
language
Use synonyms
, they will barely understand another
one
Use synonyms
 in future.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is
advisible
Correct your spelling
advisable
 to have
one
Use synonyms
 lexical structure well-settled before seeking another. In conclusion, both sides of the arguments have their own merits,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, I personally believe that children should start learning a different
language
Use synonyms
 as early as they can
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they will be able
solve
Add the particle
to solve
show examples
 effortlessly any problem in their life due to their brain development.
Submitted by alexandretco on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: