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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #first #child #age
Nowadays, most people consider having a first child after passing a young age. But I do not think that the advantages are always more than the disadvantages. There are some pros and cons of having babies later. In recent years, several couples have thought that having a child early would not let them enjoy their conjugal
life
. Since people are free to explore new things
,
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 and do exciting activities after their marriage, they try to enjoy the moment for a long period. If a baby comes into
this
 world, parents need to take on more responsibilities than ever before. At
this
 point, the husband or wife or both feel anxious and try to avoid
this
while
 exploring their married
life
. On top of that, some people dream of excelling in their careers
while
 giving birth to an infant might hamper their future plans. Here, responsibility hits the issues again.
For example
, America, a well-developed country, has so many families like
this
 who strongly feel that bringing a kid into
this
 world would be an obstacle to accelerating their future endeavours.
Additionally
, they find it difficult to arrange the necessities for an infant.
Therefore
, these types of ignorant behaviour cause a lot of issues including decreasing birth rate, frustration in
life
, zero interest towards a
life
 partner, loneliness, severe health problems, especially for women, and so on.
That is
 why the drawbacks are often superior to the profits. In conclusion, having a child in old age is highly preferable in the current period but it ultimately hampers a healthy family
life
. So, the advantages are not over the limitations at all.
Submitted by writing9common on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing career impacts, mention specific careers or work-life balance statistics that emphasize the trend.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas are repeated without adding new information. Try to integrate them more effectively into your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the introduction could expand more on the context to set up the discussion.
general
Vary your sentence structures more often to maintain the reader's interest and make the essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well.
task achievement
Addresses relevant reasons why people might choose to have children later in life, acknowledging career aspirations and lifestyle choices.
general
The language used in the essay is generally clear and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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