There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extent to you agree or disagree ?

#live #performance #play #concert #home #television

It is very much true that watching a live

performance

would give peace of mind.

Therefore

, a fair amount of

people

believes that live

performance

will bring

people

to come

Verb problem

apply

show examples

together and I totally agree with

this

statement and would like to present my thought process on why we need to attend live performances. To embark on,

concert

Correct article usage

a concert

show examples

is the best place to attract

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

from different places which do not have any limits with regards to place or gender.

While

watching live

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

we will get relief from stress

hence

, we may have some positive vibes internally.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Live performances are always good motive factors and audiences can respond immediately to the events.

secondly

, we are going to have real-time

experience

which could help us to meet new

people

who come from different places and

this

could help us to share our feelings and to make some new friends.

However

, undoubtedly, watching the concert performances on

television

may not get the real-time

experience

and

this

could be edited as per the event guidelines,

hence

we may need to watch so many advertisements

while

watching on

television

, which may kill our time and deviate our attention.

on the other hand

, we may

experience

technical issues wherein live

telecast

Fix the agreement mistake

telecasts

show examples

may be stopped or delayed

due to

some external factors. As per

google

Capitalize word

Google

show examples

recent survey findings, watching live

performance

satisfaction rate is

very

Rephrase

much

show examples

higher than watching on

television

To sum up

, it is always best to have a real-time

experience

rather than on

television

as we would feel comfortable and joyful

while

watching a live

performance

Submitted by tejakondapalli88 on Sun Jun 06 2021

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extent to you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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In some areas of the USA, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion aboout this?

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