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There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extent to you agree or disagree ?

#live #performance #play #concert #home #television
It is very much true that watching a live
performance
 would give peace of mind.
Therefore
, a fair amount of
people
 believes that live
performance
 will bring
people
to come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
together and I totally agree with
this
 statement and would like to present my thought process on why we need to attend live performances. To embark on,
concert
Correct article usage
a concert
show examples
 is the best place to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 from different places which do not have any limits with regards to place or gender.
While
 watching live
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
 we will get relief from stress
hence
, we may have some positive vibes internally.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Live performances are always good motive factors and audiences can respond immediately to the events.
secondly
, we are going to have real-time
experience
 which could help us to meet new
people
 who come from different places and
this
 could help us to share our feelings and to make some new friends.
However
, undoubtedly, watching the concert performances on
television
 may not get the real-time
experience
 and
this
 could be edited as per the event guidelines,
hence
 we may need to watch so many advertisements
while
 watching on
television
, which may kill our time and deviate our attention.
on the other hand
, we may
experience
 technical issues wherein live
telecast
Fix the agreement mistake
telecasts
show examples
 may be stopped or delayed
due to
 some external factors. As per
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
 recent survey findings, watching live
performance
 satisfaction rate is
very
Rephrase
much
show examples
 higher than watching on
television
.
To sum up
, it is always best to have a real-time
experience
 rather than on
television
 as we would feel comfortable and joyful
while
 watching a live
performance
 .
Submitted by tejakondapalli88 on

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Grammar
Use capitalization rules correctly, for instance, at the beginning of sentences.
Structure
Try to organize your essay more logically. Make each paragraph focus on one main idea. This would help your essay to flow in a more structured manner
Argument
Try to provide more relevant specific examples to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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