There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extent to you agree or disagree ?

#live #performance #play #concert #home #television

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is very much true that watching a live

performance

would give peace of mind.

Therefore

, a fair amount of

people

believes that live

performance

will bring

people

to come

Verb problem

apply

show examples

together and I totally agree with

this

statement and would like to present my thought process on why we need to attend live performances. To embark on,

concert

Correct article usage

a concert

show examples

is the best place to attract

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

from different places which do not have any limits with regards to place or gender.

While

watching live

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

we will get relief from stress

hence

, we may have some positive vibes internally.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Live performances are always good motive factors and audiences can respond immediately to the events.

secondly

, we are going to have real-time

experience

which could help us to meet new

people

who come from different places and

this

could help us to share our feelings and to make some new friends.

However

, undoubtedly, watching the concert performances on

television

may not get the real-time

experience

and

this

could be edited as per the event guidelines,

hence

we may need to watch so many advertisements

while

watching on

television

, which may kill our time and deviate our attention.

on the other hand

, we may

experience

technical issues wherein live

telecast

Fix the agreement mistake

telecasts

show examples

may be stopped or delayed

due to

some external factors. As per

google

Capitalize word

Google

show examples

recent survey findings, watching live

performance

satisfaction rate is

very

Rephrase

much

show examples

higher than watching on

television

To sum up

, it is always best to have a real-time

experience

rather than on

television

as we would feel comfortable and joyful

while

watching a live

performance

Submitted by tejakondapalli88 on Sun Jun 06 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar

Use capitalization rules correctly, for instance, at the beginning of sentences.

Structure

Try to organize your essay more logically. Make each paragraph focus on one main idea. This would help your essay to flow in a more structured manner

Argument

Try to provide more relevant specific examples to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter ; Remind him when and where you met Tell him what kind of job you are interested in Say why you think you would be suitable for the job
I am Xasanov Diyorbek. We meet in plane. Which was the flight from Dubai to america.I was sat next to you from left. After that you told me you are owner of restaurants and you suggested to I work one of your restaurant.
5
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?
Some people like to live in a house and some people like to live in an apartments. Some people say that there are more advantages to living in an apartement. There are both advantages and disadvantages in living in an apartment. I will discuss about some pros and cons of living in an apartment in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Everywhere in the world, the use of technology increased due to the innovations and improvements around the area. This caused some individuals such as office workers and students to work remotely from home because of the less hassle. I do think it is a positive development, as people can learn as many things as possible while having more flexibility in time.
6
band
Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the information age, the state-of-the-art technology to communicate becomes a negative issue through rapport in public. This author concurs with this notion because of the shallow connections between each other and the detachment from real life of the young generations.
<4
band
Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A number of individuals believe that ruthless physical games have a positive effect on the learning of younger, while the remaining trust that effects are negative. I think competitive sports have different advantages like being Healthy, Learn that who to win, and entertain yourself, good friends community also have drawbacks not interested in studies and playing a lot of times games.

There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extent to you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter ; Remind him when and where you met Tell him what kind of job you are interested in Say why you think you would be suitable for the job

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.