IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries and shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phones #places #libraries #shops
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Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have been an inextricable part of the modern world, and they have brought in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 wake not only benefits but
also
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 drawbacks. Opinions differ as to whether or not those gadgets should be allowed in public places. From my perspective, the use of cellphones should be banned in areas where they may cause unwanted disruptions
such
Linking Words
 as
libraries
Use synonyms
 or
hospitals
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, but in
others
Add a comma
,others
show examples
 they should be welcomed provided that they are used in a cautious, respectful manner. In certain places
such
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 as
libraries
Use synonyms
 or
hospitals
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, I agree that cellphones should be banned as they can be very disruptive or potentially harmful. In a library where great concentration is required, a mere sound from
phone
Use synonyms
 notifications can be greatly irritating.
This
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 is why many
libraries
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 in the world have rules and regulations against people talking or video-calling on the
phone
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.
Moreover
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 in
hospitals
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,
phones
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 are greatly restricted as they can hamper the recovery of people hospitalised. No patients want incessant noises of people talking loudly and laughing on their
phones
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, and what is more, the use of
phones
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 can be hazardous especially in intensive care units as they are believed to cause electromagnetic interference with important medical equipment. Apart from the aforementioned areas, when used judiciously,
phones
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 are greatly beneficial. Many daily tasks are carried out by
phones
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, and there are certain jobs,
such
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 as
businesspeople
Correct your spelling
business people
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, that require making frequent
phone
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 calls.
Furthermore
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, smartphones can provide solace during tedious long periods of
daily
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the daily
a daily
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 commute, and in case of emergency
such
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 as car accidents, emergency calls are greatly needed.
Therefore
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, I believe that banning them in those areas is simply not helpful and unrealistic. In order to avoid intrusion from loud
phone
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 rings,
phone
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 users can always activate the vibrate or silent mode and refrain from speaking with high volumes. In conclusion, my firm conviction is that the ban on mobile
phones
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 in
hospitals
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 and
libraries
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 can be justified.
However
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, other than those places the use of
phones
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, with manners, should be embraced.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

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