IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries and shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have been an inextricable part of the modern world, and they have brought in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 wake not only benefits but
also
Linking Words
 drawbacks. Opinions differ as to whether or not those gadgets should be allowed in public places. From my perspective, the use of cellphones should be banned in areas where they may cause unwanted disruptions
such
Linking Words
 as
libraries
Use synonyms
 or
hospitals
Use synonyms
, but in
others
Add a comma
,others
show examples
 they should be welcomed provided that they are used in a cautious, respectful manner. In certain places
such
Linking Words
 as
libraries
Use synonyms
 or
hospitals
Use synonyms
, I agree that cellphones should be banned as they can be very disruptive or potentially harmful. In a library where great concentration is required, a mere sound from
phone
Use synonyms
 notifications can be greatly irritating.
This
Linking Words
 is why many
libraries
Use synonyms
 in the world have rules and regulations against people talking or video-calling on the
phone
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 in
hospitals
Use synonyms
,
phones
Use synonyms
 are greatly restricted as they can hamper the recovery of people hospitalised. No patients want incessant noises of people talking loudly and laughing on their
phones
Use synonyms
, and what is more, the use of
phones
Use synonyms
 can be hazardous especially in intensive care units as they are believed to cause electromagnetic interference with important medical equipment. Apart from the aforementioned areas, when used judiciously,
phones
Use synonyms
 are greatly beneficial. Many daily tasks are carried out by
phones
Use synonyms
, and there are certain jobs,
such
Linking Words
 as
businesspeople
Correct your spelling
business people
show examples
, that require making frequent
phone
Use synonyms
 calls.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, smartphones can provide solace during tedious long periods of
daily
Add an article
the daily
a daily
show examples
 commute, and in case of emergency
such
Linking Words
 as car accidents, emergency calls are greatly needed.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that banning them in those areas is simply not helpful and unrealistic. In order to avoid intrusion from loud
phone
Use synonyms
 rings,
phone
Use synonyms
 users can always activate the vibrate or silent mode and refrain from speaking with high volumes. In conclusion, my firm conviction is that the ban on mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 in
hospitals
Use synonyms
 and
libraries
Use synonyms
 can be justified.
However
Linking Words
, other than those places the use of
phones
Use synonyms
, with manners, should be embraced.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: