Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly believed that television viewers are becoming lazy without any other work
such
as interacting with family members and friends. I totally agree to
Change preposition
with
this
view and will furnish evidences
to support my view.
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
Firstly
, the advancement of technology made very easy access to TV
communications resulting many
Change preposition
in many
Add a hyphen
start-up
start
up Change to a plural noun
starts
channels
and more access to existing channels
. Different TV
companies broadcast a wide variety of programs causing people
stick
to TVs. These are not only avoiding physical activities but Add the particle
to stick
also
social interaction.Secondly
, as many of the college-going students exhausted with their hectic study and same with employees too. Thus
, they prefer to sit in front of the TV
's and getting relaxed and entertained rather than going out and meeting with people
and do a work-out. For example
, A previous study proved that TV
channels
rating was very high in the evenings and night compared to rest
of the day.
Earlier Correct article usage
the rest
people
used to go out for a walk or jog in the mornings in a park where they can meet their friends and colleagues but nowadays, as there are channels
which starts
in the morning by 6 am that telecasts some healthy programs Change the verb form
start
such
as Yoga, Fitness awareness and different types of gym excercises
, Correct your spelling
exercises
People
started following them and stopped going out. For instance
, a survey conducted on the reason why visitors are diminshing
to parks revealed that viewers wanted to follow their Correct your spelling
diminishing
next
interesting episode of the work-out
and the survey results did not Correct your spelling
workout
suprise
me. Though it is Correct your spelling
surprise
benefial
for some of the audience Correct your spelling
beneficial
but
it is eliminating the socialising activity.
To conclude, though there is some benefit to Remove the conjunction
apply
people
because of the continues TV
programs but
it is Remove the conjunction
apply
also
completely dominating viewers free-time
causing them no Correct your spelling
free time
useful
for anything else which should be avoided to build a socialising community.Replace the word
use
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