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Band 7

Some people believe that children should be taught financial skills, such as saving money and budgeting, at school. Others think that this is the responsibility of parents. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
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 debate about whether
schools
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 should be responsible for teaching
children
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 financial skills,
such
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 as managing money and budgeting, or whether
this
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 duty should remain with
parents
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.
While
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 both sides present valid arguments, I believe that
schools
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 should play a major role in providing financial
education
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. On the one hand, many people argue that
parents
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 are better suited to teach their
children
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 about money.
This
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 is because
parents
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 are more familiar with their family’s financial situation and can provide practical guidance based on real-life experiences.
For example
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,
parents
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 can involve
children
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 in household budgeting, explain how bills are paid, and encourage them to save pocket money for future purchases.
Such
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 everyday exposure allows
children
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 to develop responsible financial habits in a natural environment.
On the other hand
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, relying solely on
parents
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 may result in unequal financial knowledge among
children
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. Not all
parents
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 possess adequate financial literacy, and some may lack the time or ability to teach these skills effectively.
As a result
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, many young people enter adulthood without understanding basic concepts
such
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 as interest rates, credit cards, or loan repayments. By introducing structured financial
education
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 in
schools
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, all students would receive the same foundational knowledge, helping them make informed decisions and avoid serious financial mistakes later in life. In my opinion,
schools
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 should take primary responsibility for teaching financial skills,
while
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parents
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 should support
this
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 learning at home. Formal
education
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 can provide systematic instruction,
whereas
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parents
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 can reinforce these lessons through daily practice.
This
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 combined approach would prepare young people to manage their finances confidently and responsibly. In conclusion,
although
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parents
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 play an important role in shaping
children
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’s financial behaviour,
schools
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 are better positioned to deliver comprehensive and equal financial
education
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.
Therefore
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, financial literacy should be an essential part of the school curriculum.

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task response
Try to show both sides with the same level of detail, then give your own view clearly in the last part.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to make the flow smooth, like also, however, so, and but.
coherence and cohesion
Give simple examples that a reader can see in real life.
structure
Keep one idea per paragraph and make sure each paragraph stays on the same idea.
strength
Clear position on the topic.
structure
Good intro and conclusion that sum up the idea.
content
Points use clear reasoning and examples to back them.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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