IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, a large proportion of people prefer to live in newly built
apartments
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while
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 the remaining feel more comfortable in the
house
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. There are various benefits and drawbacks of both living in a
house
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 and an apartment.
To begin
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 with, the most prominent benefit of living in a
house
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 is more open and made as per the preference of family members
such
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 as large sized rooms, kitchen, and swimming pool.
Furthermore
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, as
houses
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 have more open space
then
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 more trees can be planted for fresh air as per the likes and dislikes. The plots in which
houses
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 are constructed, their value increases every year.
Thus
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, there are numerous pros of owning a
house
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. But
houses
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 are built as per old models and various facilities might be missing in them
However
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,
apartments
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 are beneficial because they need less space for construction purposes
due to
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 which the deforestation level remains quite low. The tall buildings can be constructed in a small area of land with highly professionalized engineers.
Moreover
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,
apartments
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 are renovated and look more attractive in comparison to the
houses
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.
Apartments
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 have all the facilities available at different units including gyms as well. Meanwhile,
apartments
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 are a little congested
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
show examples
 to live with families. Owning a
house
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 or apartment is the personal choice of the individual. Both have their merits and demerits so; people choose the accommodation
that is
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 budget friendly and near to their job location for easy commute.
Therefore
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, different humans have different needs and are fulfilled in different manners.
To conclude
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, as per the reasons mentioned above it is crystal clear that
houses
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 are open areas but not environment friendly
whereas
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,
apartments
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 do not damage the environment at a high rate but they are not relentlessly expensive.
Hence
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, what people want to choose is their personal choice.

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task response
While the essay addresses the main aspects of the prompt, it could benefit from a more explicit comparison of advantages and disadvantages. Try to balance your discussion more evenly.
task response
Some arguments and examples need to be more specific and clear. Consider using concrete examples to better support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but transitional phrases between paragraphs could be used to enhance flow. For example, using phrases like 'On one hand', 'On the other hand' would help.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before. At times, the argumentation felt disjointed.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well. Keep up this practice.
logical structure
Main points are generally well-organized within paragraphs, making it easier for readers to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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