IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#places #age #cultures #youth
There are frequent debates regarding the worth of
people
, and age is one of the bases on which some
people
 try to measure it. If asked whether old age on youth is more important, I would say both have significance but are distinct in nature. On the one side, there are nations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 give more value to old
people
 because of the invaluable experience they have. To be precise, it is almost a proven fact that as the population get older, they learn more from their real-life experience.
For instance
, a Second World War veteran can share critical life skills like surviving in an extremely nostalgic situation more effectively than any best teacher. On the other side, those who give more worth to the youth feel that they are the backbone of the whole society. To be clearer, they consider
this
 group as more productive and agile than their older counterparts
In addition
, the youth can adapt flexibly to the innovative ideas, which are put forward by firms and the government. In short, those countries which have a greater population of young
people
 would naturally have enough opportunities to develop both socially and economically. After analysing both views in detail, I feel society needs invaluable experience and service of the old ones. At the same time, it
also
 requires a strong population of a productive workforce, who can adapt to the progressing situations.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance task response, ensure your examples are not only relevant but detailed and specific. This will add depth to your argument and better illustrate your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Continue to develop a logical structure in your essay. Introduce each new idea in a separate paragraph and consider using more linking words to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
For improved coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and transitional phrases. This will help in making your essay flow more naturally.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: