The best way to prevent people from smoking is to impose high taxes on tobacco products. In this way, people will be less likely to develop a long-term addiction to smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a great deal of attention has been paid to smoking habits. Some
people
insist that authorities should
go
Verb problem
put
show examples
up
taxes
on
tobacco
products to prevent smoking. I strongly agree with
this
opinion because it is impossible to motivate human beings
by
Change preposition
with
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punishments, and there are more efficient solutions to prevent addiction to smoking.
To begin
with, the first reason why I support
this
is that punishments,
such
as high
taxes
are not the best way to motivate
people
to change. It is evident from
phycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
show examples
research that punishments do not encourage
people
to change, but rewards do.
Therefore
, authorities have better tell how good events will happen when
smokers
stop smoking. As a matter of fact, the number of
smokers
has increased for several decades in Japan, despite the
tobacco
tax has rose to around 60 per cent in 2020.
In addition
to
this
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason why for supporting
this
is that there are far better ways to address
this
.
For example
, electronic cigarettes, which are less harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
mankind and less addictive, should be introduced. In fact, 20 per cent of
smokers
in Japan transfer to electric
tobacco
from ordinary
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, and they are satisfied with it.
Furthermore
, heavy addicts have better go to see a doctor, since
tobacco
addiction is curable. Thanks to the development of medical studies,
smokers
are able to quit
tobacco
addiction with medical
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
.
This
is more effective and faster than imposing
taxes
.
To conclude
, I reiterate my complete disagreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the topic.
This
is because high
taxes
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not limit
people
's actions, and there are more efficient ways to address
this
including
to introduce
Change the verb form
introducing
show examples
electronic cigarettes.
Submitted by maho.140126 on

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Task Response
For Task Achievement, provide a more balanced argument by discussing possible counterarguments and addressing them effectively. Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the topic question and provides clear examples and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly. Consider using linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs for better flow. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that are well-organized.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • impose high taxes
  • tobacco products
  • prevent
  • people
  • smoking
  • long-term addiction
  • less likely
  • develop
  • discourage
  • affordable
  • reduce
  • availability
  • market
  • financial burden
  • deter
  • young people
  • start
  • generate revenue
  • government
  • invest
  • anti-smoking campaigns
  • healthcare services
  • continue
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