Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, a great deal of attention has been paid to the behaviour of prisoners. Some people insist that
criminals
should be sent to
prison
,
while
others opine there are other solutions
such
as encouraging them to work. In
this
essay, I am going to discuss both views and examine the reason why I believe lawbreakers must be in jail.
To begin
with, there are two reasons why people claim that
criminals
should be in jail.
Firstly
, the most important function of
prison
is to isolate lawbreakers from
society
. In fact, some murderers, who are recognized as "serial
killer
Fix the agreement mistake
killers
show examples
", do not reglet and reconsider what they did, and they continue criminal
acts
again and again.
Therefore
, wrongdoers need to be isolated from citizens to keep
society
safe.
In addition
to
this
, psychologically,
prison
plays a role
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proxy punishment.
For instance
, citizens learn the gravity of offences and try not to commit criminal
acts
, thanks to the existence of
prison
.
On the other hand
, others believe that
criminals
should be given a chance to expand their talents and
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
for two reasons.
For example
, juvenile
criminals
often have relatively low IQ
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, and they engage in
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
acts
since they are unable to tell right from wrong. Given
this
situation, the youngsters deserve to be educated and reconsider. Another point is that there are
criminals
who have special talents that can
utilize
Wrong verb form
be utilised
show examples
for
society
.
For example
, a cracker, who invades a network illegally, can be a hacker who has deep knowledge about the Internet and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
To conclude
, I believe both sides of the
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
have merits.
However
, I opine that offenders should be sent to jail.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
keeps
society
safe and
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
possible criminal
acts
.
Submitted by maho.140126 on

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task response
The essay addresses both views, but could provide more specific examples and comprehensive ideas for each viewpoint to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more transition words and phrases to link ideas and demonstrate the relationship between different parts of the essay. Additionally, ensure that the logical structure is maintained throughout the essay to enhance clarity and coherence.

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