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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view?

#retirement #time #person’s #life
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In the contemporary, it is argued that the most memorable of happiness is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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retirement
Use synonyms
 when citizens are getting old. It seems to me that
retirement
Use synonyms
 is not in fact the most pleasure in the
period
Use synonyms
 of life. And I will prove the reason here On the one hand, the reason why
people
Use synonyms
 is not
happiness
Replace the word
happy
show examples
 at
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
.
First
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 justification, the
retirement
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 reflect the phenomenon of
people
Use synonyms
 getting old. It is regrettable that those
of
Change preposition
apply
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who will face the majority of health’s situations which able to interrupt their desire. Take the example of, the average of age which
people
Use synonyms
 retire their job is about over 50 years old.
This
Linking Words
 age group frequently suffer the bone problem,
hence
Linking Words
 the movement will be difficult , inadequate health
also
Linking Words
 do not allow to explore something
such
Linking Words
 as travelling in the mountain.
In addition
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, they will spend an amount of
time
Use synonyms
 and money to treat some illness. A
second
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 negative factor,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
isolation and loneliness will happen in the
period
Use synonyms
 of
retirement
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the presence of their family and friends is a pivotal factor to make
retiree
Use synonyms
 get happy. Unfortunately, it would seem that
broadly
Change the adverb
broad
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 youngster tends to have various activities which they need to carry out
such
Linking Words
 as working, learning or conducting their plans.
This
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 is due to the fact that many young
people
Use synonyms
 do not have too much
time
Use synonyms
 for the elder who is retiring.
On the other hand
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, it is no denying
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 many benefits
for
Change preposition
of
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retirement
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 the best
period
Use synonyms
 in order to
retiree
Use synonyms
 spend a lot of
time
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 for themselves. To be more precise, they do not have to follow many rules in the company. The
retiree
Use synonyms
 comfortably
conduct
Change the verb form
conducts
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 something which they love.
For example
Linking Words
, they can decorate their house based on individual style. The lovely garden is nurtured by them on a daily basis with the fresh air. To sum up, the illness problems, financial and isolated are a significant concern in the
period
Use synonyms
 of
retirement
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 a huge challenge or difficulty which
retiree
Use synonyms
 will suffer
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.
Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on

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