IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

These days, mobile phone and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#phone #internet #people #development
Nowadays cellular phone and the internet play a major role in connecting
people
 all over the world. From my perspective, there are a plethora of benefits because it makes life more convenient and efficient which outweigh its drawback.
To begin
 with, communication in the modern world become easier with the help of cell phones and the internet. Since
people
 can connect with anyone by clicking a button on the screen. There are several applications on the phone which provide opportunities to cover long distances in seconds.
In addition
, in case of an
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
emergency the individuals can convey their message and location through messenger to closed ones.
For example
, the Times of India reported in a recent survey that 20 per cent of the decline in crime rate against women and children because they can connect to police at right time via phones when they found themselves in danger.
Moreover
, work and study from home, these days, have only become possible due to online interactions. To illustrate, during the Covid-19 pandemic, internet services in the form of virtual meetings has proved to be a boon for the students and working community.
Additionally
, a better-connected world has made information exchange easier in every sector known to man. A major disadvantage of
this
 technology lack of face-to-face interaction.
This
 is because
people
 connected through Facebook ignored the physical interaction.
As a result
,
people
 are lack emotions and less fascinated in a social gathering, sometimes
this
 may cause serious issues like depression and anxiety. In conclusion, I believe that several advantages, but it is purely the user’s choice of how much time they want to spend on the phone and other digital gadgets for social interactions.
Otherwise
, the innumerable benefits of mobiles and e-communication are paramount.
Submitted by daisysharma0087 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous
  • digital communication
  • geographical barriers
  • social networking
  • face-to-face interactions
  • overdependence
  • privacy concerns
  • cyberbullying
  • online communities
  • unparalleled access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: